Q: Why did the Chinese woman who made a yacht strictly as per Chairman Mao’s instructions undermine democracy?

A: Because she let a communist dictate-her-ship!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ayyo. Even my head is tired from laughing mentally.

I have asked her to always be in ‘very close touch’ if she wants ‘a good position’ in India. Perhaps I might have something interesting for her ‘in my department’.

Adipoli.

Anyway now I am tired from writing. I am going to spend the whole day sitting in the hotel room, watching TV and ordering room service. Yoshi tells me that the St Edmunds makes an excellent Chicken Steak Diane.

Later Diary!

5.05 p.m.

Gouri is happy beyond words. She was thrilled to hear of the new job and of my investment successes. I didn’t tell her the exact amount. But told her I had several lakhs in my account now.

I have promised to buy her something nice from Heathrow duty free. Maybe an Apple iPod? Maybe.

5.10 p.m.

FUCK.

Gouri called again.

She is bringing her parents to Bombay airport to receive me. WHY GOD WHY GOD WHY?

6.39 p.m.

Before leaving I am thinking of at least visiting the British Museum once. I know I promised to never visit a culture place again in London.

But Diary, what is the value of human life if we do not occasionally stop to appreciate the finer things? Sure life will reward us richly for our hard work and expert strategic management consulting inputs. But money will come and money will go.

When I die I can’t take the money with me. But what about culture and art and sculptures? They will always be within me. Making me a better human being. In the light of recent events I think I should give the culture of London another chance. (In the exact same way that I have given Lederman another chance through shrewd market insight and timely investment strategies.)

So I want to make a fresh start with the British Museum. They have just unveiled a new exhibition of fine, modern, European, erotic sculpture.

I have a feeling I will at least like this one.

Author’s Note

Dear readers who have bought a legitimate copy of this book, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. By purchasing this book you are helping to not only support a young Indian writer, but you are, indeed, sustaining the very fabric of modern Indian literature.

Also, and you may not know this when buying four or five copies for yourself and for friends and family, you are helping to protect the environment, combat endemic Indian corruption, and bring peace and justice to several north African countries that were previously under ruthless dictatorships.

Unfortunately there is no space in this author’s note to go into the exact details of how you are helping. But you are helping very much indeed.