‘Lucy, can we talk?’ Fergus asks tentatively. Shifting his gaze from Kieron to me. Something unreadable in his expression.

‘Hang on a sec.’ I nip down the ward to find Sandra.

‘I want to grab some food with my friend, I haven’t seen him for ages,’ I tell her. ‘But last time I went to the canteen and left Kieron—’ It’s all too fresh in my mind.

‘I’ll stay with him,’ she assures me.

‘That’s settled.’ I rejoin Fergus. ‘We can go and get some lunch. Kieron, is that okay? We won’t be long?’

He nods, engrossed in his story. It’s still a wrench to leave him.

The canteen is quiet except for the gurgle and hiss of the coffee machine. There’s a heavy tang of oil in the air, a trough brimming with golden chips basking under a heat lamp. We both opt for a mozzarella and pesto panini – it only takes a minute to toast them.

‘So…’ I wait while Fergus takes a bite, pinching the melted cheese string that stretches between the bread and his mouth, licking his fingers.

He swallows. ‘I came to say goodbye, really. I’m moving away.’

I don’t know what to say. Thirty years of shared memories tumble together before breaking apart. ‘But… Fergus… but you can’t.’ I’d been clinging on to the hope that he and Mel would sort things out. ‘Does Mel know? Ryan? Aidan?’

‘Mel knows. I’m still thinking about the best way to handle things with Ryan and no, I haven’t spoken to Aidan.’

‘But you’re going to tell him?’

A film of tears glazes his grey eyes. ‘A clean break is… it’s easier. Aidan will try to talk me out of it but my mind is made up. I thought you could tell him? I’m moving back to Scotland.’

‘Back to…?’ I am incredulous. ‘But you haven’t lived there since you were a child. What about your family?’

‘It is for my family. Mum isn’t well and with Dad passing last year, she needs me.’

‘But you can’t just… leave. Melissa needs you. Ryan needs you.’

For a second Fergus crumples into himself before he straightens his spine.

‘My mum needs me more.’

‘I know there’s been some sort of falling out between you and Mel but surely it’s nothing you can’t work through? You can’t just give up on twenty years of marriage.’

‘I’m not just anything.’

‘Sorry.’ I’m saying all the wrong things. Hundreds of words swim around my mind and I sift through them trying to fish out the ones that won’t make me sound critical or accusing. ‘I know this won’t have been a decision you’ve made lightly, Fergus, but… we care. Me and Aidan.’ I rub his arm. ‘We’re here for you.’