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Back All For You Save as PDF
Chapters (109)
  1. Cover
  2. READERS ARE GIVING ALL FOR YOU FIVE STARS!
  3. Also by Louise Jensen
  4. About the Author
  5. Note to Readers
  6. Prologue
  7. Part One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Chapter Three
  11. Chapter Four
  12. Chapter Five
  13. Chapter Six
  14. Chapter Seven
  15. Chapter Eight
  16. Chapter Nine
  17. Chapter Ten
  18. Chapter Eleven
  19. Chapter Twelve
  20. Chapter Thirteen
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  35. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  36. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  37. Chapter Thirty
  38. Chapter Thirty-One
  39. Chapter Thirty-Two
  40. Chapter Thirty-Three
  41. Chapter Thirty-Four
  42. Chapter Thirty-Five
  43. Chapter Thirty-Six
  44. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  45. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  46. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  47. Chapter Forty
  48. Part Two
  49. Chapter Forty-One
  50. Chapter Forty-Two
  51. Chapter Forty-Three
  52. Chapter Forty-Four
  53. Chapter Forty-Five
  54. Chapter Forty-Six
  55. Chapter Forty-Seven
  56. Chapter Forty-Eight
  57. Chapter Forty-Nine
  58. Chapter Fifty
  59. Chapter Fifty-One
  60. Chapter Fifty-Two
  61. Chapter Fifty-Three
  62. Chapter Fifty-Four
  63. Chapter Fifty-Five
  64. Chapter Fifty-Six
  65. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  66. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  67. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  68. Chapter Sixty
  69. Chapter Sixty-One
  70. Chapter Sixty-Two
  71. Chapter Sixty-Three
  72. Chapter Sixty-Four
  73. Chapter Sixty-Five
  74. Chapter Sixty-Six
  75. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  76. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  77. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  78. Chapter Seventy
  79. Chapter Seventy-One
  80. Chapter Seventy-Two
  81. Chapter Seventy-Three
  82. Chapter Seventy-Four
  83. Chapter Seventy-Five
  84. Chapter Seventy-Six
  85. Chapter Seventy-Seven
  86. Chapter Seventy-Eight
  87. Chapter Seventy-Nine
  88. Chapter Eighty
  89. Chapter Eighty-One
  90. Chapter Eighty-Twos
  91. Chapter Eighty-Three
  92. Chapter Eighty-Four
  93. Chapter Eighty-Five
  94. Chapter Eighty-Six
  95. Chapter Eighty-Seven
  96. Chapter Eighty-Eight
  97. Chapter Eighty-Nine
  98. Chapter Ninety
  99. Chapter Ninety-One
  100. Part Three
  101. Chapter Ninety-Two
  102. Chapter Ninety-Three
  103. Chapter Ninety-Four
  104. The Following Letter Contains Spoilers
  105. Acknowledgements
  106. Book Club Questions
  107. Extract
  108. Chapter One
  109. About the Publisher

I can almost feel it tightening around my neck.

Chapter Two

Lucy

Aidan snaps on a pair of blue latex gloves from his work truck and scoops up the lifeless bird – as a vet, he’s used to dealing with animals. It’s out of sight but I can still see its glassy eyes staring up at me.

I can’t quell my feeling of panic.

Had a cat left it? There aren’t any on our street and besides, I thought cats only brought dead animals to their owners.

‘Mum?’ Kieron calls from the car, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

‘Let’s get you inside.’ As I usher him into the hallway, my eyes linger on the dark droplets of blood spotting the step. A chill snakes down my spine. I throw a glance over my shoulder as I close the front door.

The street is empty.

Once inside, I hang up my coat and hold my hand out to take Kieron’s anorak. ‘Do you want to snuggle on the sofa while I cook dinner?’

He shakes his head.

‘I’ll go upstairs.’ He’s wiped out. His footfall slow and leaden. I wish I could hoist him onto my hip and carry him the way I had before he grew too big, too heavy. It’s not only a desire to hold him that floods me but a desire to be held. I miss the closeness I shared with Aidan. A sick child hasn’t brought us closer together, it’s pushed us apart.

Music blares from the bathroom. The Arctic Monkeys singing ‘Do I Wanna Know’ over the sound of running water. I knock on the door.

‘Connor, we’re back.’

He doesn’t hear me, or pretends he doesn’t.

For years, he waged his own personal war on cleanliness, fighting against washing his hair, cleaning his teeth. All that changed when he got his first girlfriend and when I recall the way that turned out, how broken he was – is – my heart contracts.

It’s all my fault.

‘If you stop blaming yourself, Connor might stop blaming you too,’ Aidan keeps saying, but how can I?

‘Do you want a game of cards or something?’ I ask Kieron when we reach his room.

‘No. I’m going to read.’

‘Let me guess.’ I place my index finger on my chin as though I’m thinking. ‘The Hunger Games?’ Kieron is obsessed with the trilogy, his walls are plastered with posters from the film, the pale blue paint underneath barely visible.

‘Yep.’

‘You’ll get bored of them one day.’

‘Never.’