Chapter Eighty-Five

Aidan

Sex with Melissa was quick. Animalistic.

Pleasure-less.

It was something they had never, ever talked about again and three months later when she and Fergus had come for lunch and told them they were expecting, he hadn’t questioned who the father was.

He hadn’t wanted to know.

He doesn’t now.

‘Ryan is a perfect donor for Kieron,’ Lucy says.

Aidan takes a step back – out of reach from the words that hang in the air, snaking towards him with their poison.

‘He isn’t. He can’t be.’

But Aidan knows, deep down Aidan has always known.

‘How… how did you find out?’

‘I had lunch at the hospital with Fergus the other day. I kept asking him what had happened and why he was leaving. He wasn’t going to tell me, but as he was walking away, he turned back. He asked if I was sure I really wanted to know, warned me that what he was about to say could ruin my life. My friendship with Mel. My marriage. He discovered the truth after he and Mel took Ryan to give blood for the first time. When Ryan was in the loo the nurse made a flippant remark about Fergus being his stepdad. Fergus questioned why she’d say that and she apparently was mortified, but told him that his and Ryan’s blood groups are incompatible. She’d backtracked. But Melissa confessed. Said it had been haunting her for years. Ryan is an O. The same as you. The same as Connor and Kieron.’

‘No! I’m not… Melissa would have told me. He… he can’t be mine!’

‘He is.’ There’s an almost ethereal quality shimmering around Lucy. A calmness that is frightening.

‘I don’t believe it. It was a one-off. A mistake. A—’

‘Aidan.’ Lucy slowly shakes her head. ‘It only takes one time. You must have questioned it when Mel fell pregnant. Thought about the dates.’

Aidan’s head is stuffed with a nothingness. He can’t process what is happening. ‘Of course not. I tried not to think about… any of it. I was such a mess over losing Catherine, having to be strong for you. Connor. I… Have you asked Mel about this?’

‘No. I don’t need to. I believe Fergus. Do you remember the night he left? How frightened she was on the phone that he had come round to ours? She was scared he’d tell me. She didn’t want me to go round. She couldn’t face me. It. Her shame. She’s virtually avoided me ever since.’