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Chapters (109)
  1. Cover
  2. READERS ARE GIVING ALL FOR YOU FIVE STARS!
  3. Also by Louise Jensen
  4. About the Author
  5. Note to Readers
  6. Prologue
  7. Part One
  8. Chapter One
  9. Chapter Two
  10. Chapter Three
  11. Chapter Four
  12. Chapter Five
  13. Chapter Six
  14. Chapter Seven
  15. Chapter Eight
  16. Chapter Nine
  17. Chapter Ten
  18. Chapter Eleven
  19. Chapter Twelve
  20. Chapter Thirteen
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  35. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  36. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  37. Chapter Thirty
  38. Chapter Thirty-One
  39. Chapter Thirty-Two
  40. Chapter Thirty-Three
  41. Chapter Thirty-Four
  42. Chapter Thirty-Five
  43. Chapter Thirty-Six
  44. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  45. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  46. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  47. Chapter Forty
  48. Part Two
  49. Chapter Forty-One
  50. Chapter Forty-Two
  51. Chapter Forty-Three
  52. Chapter Forty-Four
  53. Chapter Forty-Five
  54. Chapter Forty-Six
  55. Chapter Forty-Seven
  56. Chapter Forty-Eight
  57. Chapter Forty-Nine
  58. Chapter Fifty
  59. Chapter Fifty-One
  60. Chapter Fifty-Two
  61. Chapter Fifty-Three
  62. Chapter Fifty-Four
  63. Chapter Fifty-Five
  64. Chapter Fifty-Six
  65. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  66. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  67. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  68. Chapter Sixty
  69. Chapter Sixty-One
  70. Chapter Sixty-Two
  71. Chapter Sixty-Three
  72. Chapter Sixty-Four
  73. Chapter Sixty-Five
  74. Chapter Sixty-Six
  75. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  76. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  77. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  78. Chapter Seventy
  79. Chapter Seventy-One
  80. Chapter Seventy-Two
  81. Chapter Seventy-Three
  82. Chapter Seventy-Four
  83. Chapter Seventy-Five
  84. Chapter Seventy-Six
  85. Chapter Seventy-Seven
  86. Chapter Seventy-Eight
  87. Chapter Seventy-Nine
  88. Chapter Eighty
  89. Chapter Eighty-One
  90. Chapter Eighty-Twos
  91. Chapter Eighty-Three
  92. Chapter Eighty-Four
  93. Chapter Eighty-Five
  94. Chapter Eighty-Six
  95. Chapter Eighty-Seven
  96. Chapter Eighty-Eight
  97. Chapter Eighty-Nine
  98. Chapter Ninety
  99. Chapter Ninety-One
  100. Part Three
  101. Chapter Ninety-Two
  102. Chapter Ninety-Three
  103. Chapter Ninety-Four
  104. The Following Letter Contains Spoilers
  105. Acknowledgements
  106. Book Club Questions
  107. Extract
  108. Chapter One
  109. About the Publisher

‘I need to be with my babies,’ she said raising her tear-stained face to his. ‘I’m not just a mum, I’m a doctor, I can… I can…’ Sobs caught in her throat, hiccups spilling from her mouth. ‘You have to get a wheelchair. I can’t feel my legs properly. Please, Aidan, please. There might be something they’re not doing in the NICU—’ She pressed her fists against her chest. ‘I’m a doctor, I’m… I’m…’ Lucy gasped for breath. Her face glowing red in the whip of lightning outside of the window.

It was then the unimaginable happened.

Chapter Eighty-Twos

Lucy

As I watch my husband, I know that he’s remembering exactly the same painful memories as I am. It all slips across his face. The hope. The despair. But he still doesn’t understand why I have chosen Ryan and I know this because there is one emotion I’m looking for that isn’t there.

‘Remember, Aidan,’ I say. ‘Remember it all.’

And he does. I see it all in his grief-stricken eyes. Every shameful secret that sits between us.

Unforgiven.

Unspoken.

Until now.

Chapter Eighty-Three

Aidan

‘Lucy. Aidan.’ Dr Chandra hovered at the foot of the bed. The storm continued to rage, but nothing outside of this room mattered. ‘I’m so sorry.’ When the doctor broke eye contact, Aidan knew his life would never be the same again. ‘It’s Catherine. We did everything we could, I can promise you—’

Lucy’s scream was primal, slicing through Aidan – that scalpel through her skin – he was just as raw and bloodied.

‘I am so sorry,’ Dr Chandra said again. ‘Her heart stopped beating.’

‘But I can give her a new heart… I can…’ Lucy threw back her covers.

‘It’s too late.’

‘No! I can save her, I can…’ Lucy’s legs were still numb from the anaesthetic but she somehow managed to swing them out of bed. ‘I can…’

Aidan held her while she beat his chest with her hands, tried to push him away.

‘I. Can. Save. Her.’ She glared at Dr Chandra. ‘I’m a doctor. I demand that you take me to my daughter.’

‘We can arrange for you to see her, of course, but Lucy, Catherine was so small. The team did all—’

‘But she didn’t need a team. She just needed me.’ Lucy covered her face with her hands. ‘She just needed me.’ She wept.