I step closer to him, smelling the stale coffee on his breath.

‘Lucy. I feel for you, I really do but what you’re asking is… wrong.’

‘It’s—’

‘Wrong. Right for Kieron perhaps but if we replace the child on the top of that list with Kieron, what becomes of that other child? Of their family? It’s immoral and unethical and highly unfair of you to put me in this position.’

‘I know.’ My voice is small. I do know. And it’s not like I want anybody else’s child to die, I just want mine to live. Any parent would understand that. But Rob Peters isn’t a parent and he will not change his mind. ‘I had to ask.’ I swipe away the tears on my cheeks.

‘Lucy.’ He passes me a tissue from the box on his desk. ‘It’s easy to say don’t worry but you’re so… fraught and Kieron will pick up on it. You know with kids we pull out all the stops. It’s not like we have to tissue match a liver the way we would with a heart or kidney. It’s easier—’

‘Nothing about this is easy,’ I whisper. ‘Nothing.’ Impossible decisions. Unimaginable consequences. He has made his choice and I know he won’t change his mind. I hadn’t really expected him to. There’s a roundness to my shoulders, a stoop to my spine as I trudge back out to the waiting room to find Kieron.

‘Mum,’ he says, ‘Connor isn’t answering his phone. He told me to ring him straight after my appointment and tell him how I got on.’

‘Perhaps he’s on silent.’ I guide him towards the car park.

‘No. He said he’d be waiting for my call and then he’d set up the Xbox so we could play as soon as I got in. I’ve tried him five times. He never ignores me.’

Hearing Kieron say this unsettles me, because he’s right. Connor never ignores Kieron. I pull out my phone and call him myself, knowing that if he’s not picking up to his brother, he won’t to me.

He doesn’t.

I usher Kieron towards the car again, faster this time.

Kieron falls asleep quickly in the car. I am left with my thoughts and my worry.

A knowing that something is wrong with Connor.

Why isn’t he picking up to Kieron?

Despite being seventeen, I should never have left my son alone. Tyler is missing. Ryan is missing. Connor is horribly upset and I’d just… left him.

Hurry.

The flash of neon orange cones blur through the window as I gather speed until the roadworks force me to a stop. The candle-shaped air freshener swings from the rear-view mirror – its strawberry scent cloying.