She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing the way her counsellor had taught her, trying to calm her restless mind and keep the anxious thoughts under control. She’d spent the day ricocheting between fear and anger. One moment terrified the police were going to arrest her for murder, the next raging at the injustice of what had happened. She hadn’t been close to Nick, hadn’t even liked him very much, but she couldn’t shake the sense of outrage at his death. After everything he’d been through, it didn’t seem right that his life would be cut short so suddenly and brutally. Forty-five years of living. He deserved another thirty, at least.

A wave of grief rose from deep inside her, hitting hard and fast the way it always did. Memories raced towards her, an endless torture that she had no choice but to endure. Because she knew the alternative, to forget those happy times and the people she’d loved and lost, was infinitely worse.

Gradually, the rush of emotion subsided. It didn’t disappear, because the sadness never left her entirely, but it eased until she could bear it. The roaring inside her head was replaced by other sounds – birds singing in the trees, the rustling of leaves on branches swaying in the gentle breeze. The booming voices and braying laughter drifting from the kitchen, where Adam and Jake sat plotting and planning.

Clodagh had long suspected it was Jake, not Adam, who was behind the relentless drive to build Adam’s career. Constantly pursuing the endless TV appearances, roadshows and publishing contracts. In Clodagh’s opinion, Adam’s agent was a charmless, shallow man who had weaselled his way into Adam’s life after the roaring success of Vivienne. Uncertain of how to handle his new-found celebrity, Adam had let Jake take over. Today was a perfect example of the way Jake operated. He’d stuck to Adam like a limpet all day, insisting on coming back to the house with them, when they were finally allowed to leave the hotel.

‘You okay?’

Adam’s voice made her jump. She hadn’t heard him approaching.

‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘I just needed a bit of space.’

‘I know it’s a pain having Jake here,’ Adam said. ‘But we’ve got a busy few weeks ahead of us. It makes sense to get our heads together today and work out what we’re doing.’

‘How can you think about work after what’s happened?’

Times like this, it was difficult to see the Adam she’d first fallen in love with. She knew, deep down, he was still the same person. She wouldn’t be with him, otherwise. But recently, whenever he spoke about his work, he sounded like someone else. And Clodagh wasn’t sure she liked that person very much.