Chapters (64)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Prologue
- Five Years Later
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-one
- Twenty-two
- Twenty-three
- Twenty-four
- Twenty-five
- Twenty-six
- Twenty-seven
- Twenty-eight
- Twenty-nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-one
- Thirty-two
- Thirty-three
- Thirty-four
- Thirty-five
- Thirty-six
- Thirty-seven
- Thirty-eight
- Thirty-nine
- Forty
- Forty-one
- Forty-two
- Forty-three
- Forty-four
- Forty-five
- Forty-six
- Forty-seven
- Forty-eight
- Forty-nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-one
- Fifty-two
- Fifty-three
- Fifty-four
- Fifty-five
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Canelo Crime
- About the Author
- Also by Sheila Bugler
‘I had a problem with crying,’ Ivan said. ‘For the first year after the crash, I would cry like a baby for no reason. When I started crying, I couldn’t stop. I never knew what would trigger me. It could be anything. One day I went to the shop and they had no garlic. I cried for twenty-four hours straight after that. Because of garlic. What do you think of that? No, don’t answer. The thing is, the day we all met up I was very, very tired of crying. I did not want to cry in front of all you people, because others had suffered and lost much more than I had. It felt selfish and wrong of me to cry. But even though it wasn’t what I wanted, I could feel it building up in me. And then you came over and sat down beside me and started speaking and, somehow, you made me feel better.’
‘Really? What did I say?’
Ivan smiled.
‘You told me your memory was gone but your sense of taste had survived and you had never seen a shirt as ugly as the one I was wearing that day.’
Clodagh put a hand over her mouth.
‘I really said that?’
‘You sure did. It made me laugh. I’d started to think I might never laugh again. And right then I thought, this is someone I want to get to know better.’
He drained his glass and stood up. ‘I am going to buy another pint of lager, because Homer Simpson was right when he said alcohol is the answer to all of life’s problems.’
‘He also said it was the cause, didn’t he?’
But Ivan had already disappeared into the bar. While she waited, Clodagh took her phone out and typed Georgy and Izabella’s names into her internet browser. Here on the beach, the internet was slow and it took a moment for their photos to appear. When they’d finally loaded, she saw a couple in their early twenties, arms around each other, laughing into the camera. She searched their faces, not sure what she was looking for but wanting something so desperately her chest ached from the longing. But whatever she was looking for, it wasn’t there. After a moment, she put the phone away again, and looked at the sea, trying to empty her mind of everything but the sound of the waves crunching over the shingle.
Thirty-five
Adam was at home when Clodagh got back from Worthing, full of apologies for leaving yesterday without telling her where he’d gone.