Chapters (64)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Prologue
- Five Years Later
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-one
- Twenty-two
- Twenty-three
- Twenty-four
- Twenty-five
- Twenty-six
- Twenty-seven
- Twenty-eight
- Twenty-nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-one
- Thirty-two
- Thirty-three
- Thirty-four
- Thirty-five
- Thirty-six
- Thirty-seven
- Thirty-eight
- Thirty-nine
- Forty
- Forty-one
- Forty-two
- Forty-three
- Forty-four
- Forty-five
- Forty-six
- Forty-seven
- Forty-eight
- Forty-nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-one
- Fifty-two
- Fifty-three
- Fifty-four
- Fifty-five
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Canelo Crime
- About the Author
- Also by Sheila Bugler
‘It doesn’t feel difficult because you know it’s right. You’re also on your third chocolate biscuit which makes me think you must be hungry. I have no food in the house. Let’s go out. We can walk to the chip shop.’
They ate their fish and chips on the beach, watching the night creep in across the pale pink sky.
‘You could move in with me,’ Ivan said. ‘We could split the rent and I could help you take care of the baby after it’s born.’
Clodagh tried to imagine herself and her child living in Ivan’s tiny little house and knew that was never going to happen.
‘A single mother and her child would put quite a strain on your social life,’ she said.
‘That’s a good point,’ Ivan said, ‘but if you don’t stay with me, what will you do?’
‘I’ve already told you, I don’t have any plans at the moment.’
‘Well I’ll help you make a plan. You’re not thinking of going back to Ireland, I hope?’
‘Would you mind if I did?’
‘Would I mind? Lady, I would be devastated. Besides, it wouldn’t be fair on your baby.’
‘Why is that?’
‘Number one, because Adam is the baby’s father even if you and he are no longer a couple. Adam deserves the chance to be part of his child’s life, assuming he first of all works on his anger issues so he is not scaring people any more. If you move to Ireland you’re taking that choice away from him.’
‘What’s number two?’
‘Me.’ Ivan thumped his chest. ‘I am number two. This baby will need strong role models in its life. People like me who can guide them through their difficult teenage years and be there for them when you are being a pain in the backside and your poor kid needs an adult outside the family to talk to. This baby will not have any aunties or uncles. So that is who I will be: your baby’s Uncle Ivan. It’s so obviously the right thing that you cannot argue with me.’
Hot tears pricked Clodagh’s eyes. Ivan was right. Her baby needed him. So did the baby’s mother. She hadn’t realised, until now, how scared she’d been of doing this alone. But with Ivan in her life, she would never be alone.
‘Thank you, Ivan.’
‘You’re very welcome.’ He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a warm hug. ‘You’re going to be okay, lady. I promise.’
Forty-three
Day Twelve
That night, in Ivan’s tiny spare bedroom, Clodagh slept better than she had any night since discovering Nick’s body. She woke the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to start planning for her new life. When she went downstairs, she found a note from Ivan in the kitchen: