Yes I never got near her again. She was icecold. When I met maria and was with her it felt like a hot bath.

So you had it off with maria on the side and beat emelie up instead of dealing with your problems I said. It was not meant as an accusation. I only wanted to know.

Yes that’s fair enough. I couldn’t recall having hit her and felt no remorse. I simply couldn’t understand why she made such a big thing of it.

Then what happened I asked.

Emelie was told I was sneaking off to be with maria as soon as her back was turned. Apparently it was katarina who told her.

Was that why you didn’t come to katarina’s funeral. He nodded.

You’re such a fucking idiot I said while folding more napkins.

Emelie came home and told me she was leaving. Fetched boxes from the attic and started to pack.

And that was when you saw red again is that right.

Yes he said. As far as I was concerned I had done nothing wrong. If she didn’t want to have anything to do with me I had the right to look for warmth elsewhere. She was welcome to move out. I didn’t mind. Once she was out of the house I could meet maria more often. 286

But it didn’t work out like that.

No. Emelie moved out and maria said it was over between her and me. That was about a year or so before you arrived.

Bror I said. Can I ask you something.

You’re going to ask if I killed maria. Yes I said.

I truly don’t know he said and looked as pathetically unhappy as only my brother can. During that period I was hardly ever sober. I wanted revenge because maria had turned me down. If I wasn’t to have her no one else would. The police noted I had a motive all right. But however much I scrutinise myself I cannot find any answers. If I had done it I should remember something.

So the police were looking into her death I said.

Of course they did. What did you expect. A dead woman found in the grass near the sawmill and it turns out she has slept with most of the married men in the village. And a number of others as well. On top of that one of the suspects is a convicted murderer.

Who I asked. Me of course he said.

Come on that’s totally different. Killing father wasn’t exactly a crime of passion.

Maybe so bror said. But that’s not how the police saw it. I was probably near the top of their lists of suspects. As for father I killed him because I hated what he did to you.