I said that we had had things to do and told her a little more than noragran but left out details she needn’t know. Called john but he didn’t reply. At home now I texted. See you.

Before going to bed I spent some time in the yellowroom. I sat on the cold wooden floor twisting and turning the clayfolk as I looked for clues. Somehow I had lost control over my own life. Things happened to me regardless. I had never felt more alive than now. It was a new feeling and it was hollering in my mind like an evangelical preacher without me being able to work out if it meant any good.

I turned off the light in the yellowroom and crawled into bed between the undersheet and the folded back topsheet embroidered with mother’s monogram. SR. S was for siri. But I didn’t even know what her maiden name had been.

242

FORTYTWO

It was nice to be back at work. I had arrived before anyone else. Got the coffee maker going. Washed up a few glasses and for once had time to look through the nightshift’s log entries. They would be back soon for the handover.

If the dramatic events at eskilbrännström’s had reached the office I’d find out soon enough.

Märitljungqvist was the first to arrive. Asked how I was.

I’m fine I said as I put the glasses away in the cupboard. Would you like a cup of coffee I asked but she didn’t answer. She had put her hands on her belly and a closer look told me that she wasn’t well. Her eyes were bloodshot as if she had a bad cold.

Are you not well märit I asked.

I’m fine she said. Just a sore tummy but it will pass. Touch of indigestion probably. She fluttered her hands about to demonstrate what she felt like inside.

Could be tapeworm I said. What’s that you’re saying she said.

Tapeworm. A long whitish job that gnaws on one’s gut fat whenever it can.

She shook her head. Listen to you she said. Tapeworm. This isn’t africa for goodness sake. Just a touch of oldfashioned indigestion. Nothing that a dose of bicarbonate won’t cure.

She stirred a couple of teaspoons of liver salts into a mug. Drank it quickly and grimaced. The skin of her face was shot through with a mesh of thin blood vessels. 243

I went to visit bror this weekend I said. He’s in a rehab home in pite. Seems a good place. He is sober now.

After that we had no more time to talk. The night staff arrived and the rest of the day crew turned up soon afterwards. Everyone looked tired. It was either too early or too late. I put mugs on the table and poured coffee. Sandwich boxes were pulled out of the handbags.