Is that so. What about me. Am I supposed to act the nanny and watch out so you don’t go off somewhere to die.

His mobile jangled. A text from angelika. She wants to see me he said. What does she know about me. Everything there is I guess.

Even that I attempted to murder father he asked. Yes and that you succeeded as well.

He wrote something in return and got a reply immediately.

Apparently we’ll meet up tomorrow.

So she can become your new nanny I thought. But I was pleased for bror.

Thoroughly grounded Angelika would win out in the long run. Bror who was so detached he almost levitated. Just then he drifted over to the sink. Drank a glass of water and said goodnight.

Bror was back in his boy’s room in the attic. Together, we had carried all the furniture in the parental bedroom downstairs driven it to the recycling centre and also got rid of the rubbish bags that had been heaped up on the trailer since easter.

As he went upstairs, the eighth step creaked.

294

FORTYNINE

At first i saw neither john nor diana. All I could see were the enormous paintings which had been framed and hung in groups or singly depending on the scenes they depicted.

I should have been prepared. Wherever I looked my life was on display.

And not only my life.

The paintings were arranged chronologically starting in the forest cottage where a woman lay dead on a wooden bed. A boy was asleep next to her. A man sat on a chair. A dog lay by the door. An embroidered text hung on the wall. Akana mukav tut le devlesa. Romany for I now leave you to god.

Painting followed painting. The place was crowded. People moved a few steps forward or back to take in sharp or blurred details that caused perspectives to change. A pair of citytrousers even produced a magnifying glass to scrutinise the finer points.

People pushed me casually so I pushed too. Sharing the experience with strangers made me uneasy. I longed for silence. And as usual I longed to be back home. Home at kippofarm or outside in the smalångerforest wandering up to the afta hill or down towards the strand.

Diana was moving among the people. Her height and long blond hair made her stand out from the crowd. She was answering questions gesticulating laughing chatting. Her manner was 295new to me. I only knew her through the fogs of fever and from the brief moment she had lain newly born on my arm.

She must have sensed that she was observed and turned. Our eyes met. I saw her apologising to the people she was with as she waded with long paces through the crowd.

Jesus who walked on the water.

Mum she said. We hugged. I only reached up to her chin. It’s great you could come.