Diana holds her hand up, silencing me. “Hey, I get it. But the fact is she was dead there. Murdered. It doesn’t look good for you right now, so we need to get out ahead of this. If a lot of people knew you went there, then we start to raise doubts. Is there anything else you need to tell me now? I assume you didn’t just come by to visit. And I can’t help you unless I know it all. I’m your lawyer. I’m working for you.”

I let out a deep breath. It feels like it comes from my shoes and out of my mouth. “And all of this is confidential? I can tell you anything?”

“It is. You tell me, and then together we decide what to do. Is there something you want to come clean about? Confession is good for the soul. And it might keep your buns out of jail.”

“Okay, I didn’t kill anybody.”

“That’s a good start.”

I let out another breath. “I’m sick about what I did do, Diana. It’s the . . . it’s the worst, most embarrassing thing. As a writer. As a teacher. I just . . . I fucked up royally. And I can never make it up to Madeline now that she’s gone.”

“You look kind of green around the gills. Do you need water?”

I shake my head. “No, let me get this out. I have to, okay? It’s overdue.”

“Go for it.”

“It’s okay if you think the worst of me once I tell you.”

“Just spill it, Connor. I guarantee you I’ve heard worse.”

So I tell her the truth about the book. The tenure deadline and my grief. Madeline’s disappearance after turning in the handwritten thesis. The book getting published and Madeline coming back. All of it.

When I finish, I don’t really feel relief. I feel dirty because I relived it all. My dishonesty. My theft.

Diana shows nothing on her face. Her only movement is tapping her fingers against the top of the desk.

“I’ll say this—you did fuck up.”

“Thanks,” I say.

“It’s okay, Connor. It’s not fatal. You’ll take a public scalding, but you kind of have that coming.”

“Sure. So you see . . . I didn’t know those details about the murder. Madeline did.”

“Or whoever told them to Madeline,” Diana says. “It could be the actual killer. Or it could be a cop or someone else close to the case.”

“Zach. He knew Madeline. We know he assaulted one woman. And fought aggressively with Sophia.”

“I’m going to call Bowman and tell her we want to talk. Are you okay with that?”

I nod. “Sure. Yes, of course.”