But he’d follow the rules. He’d report me to the administration and that would be that for my academic career, which is already on the ropes.

But should I really be worrying about myself so much?

I hear voices in the kitchen. Preston talking to someone.

I figure it’s Kelly, and maybe we woke her up. I haven’t seen her in weeks, so I put my glass down and get up to say hello. I’ll apologize if we woke her up. Maybe I can tell them both about the book, have more than Preston’s thoughts on everything I face.

The house is hushed except for the voices in the kitchen. When I get closer, I hear it’s only one voice. Through the entryway, I see Preston at the counter, hunched over, one finger plugged into his ear, the other holding his phone.

“He’s here now,” he says. “I can keep him here if you hurry over.”

“Who are you talking to?”

Preston spins toward me. His face flushes, and he ends the call with one poke of the red button. “Keep your voice down. The kids.”

“Was that the police?” I ask. And I know I’m not keeping my voice down. No way.

“Connor, I called them for your own good. You need to talk to them. You need to clear this up. It will be better for everyone to get this over with. I can call Diana too. Think about it—”

“I have thought about it. I can do my own thinking.”

“If you tell them everything, it’s going to be so much better. Isn’t that what Diana told you to do?”

He takes a step toward me, his hands out asking for calm. He looks like an animal trainer approaching a spooked tiger. One that might bite his head off.

“Connor, I’m only trying to help you. You know that.”

“Goddamn it. Are they coming now?”

Preston nods. “They’re coming.”

“Shit.”

I look around. The kitchen feels small. And getting smaller. I feel a choking sensation in my throat, something cutting off my air. I start backing up.

“I’m going,” I say.

“Don’t, Connor. Stay. Talk to them. You’re in a world of trouble now.”

“No thanks to you.” I turn to go, heading for the front of the house. Grendel lifts his head when I come into the room. Preston follows me, ready to say more.

At the door I turn back. “Stay away from me.” I pull it open, feel the cold air. “And do me a favor. At least take care of Grendel for me. That’s the least you can do.”

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

The cemetery is quiet.

And I figure no one will look for me here. I come here often when I need a place that’s quiet, when I need a place to stop and sit still.