BooksBarbecue
Back If You Want to Make God Laugh Save as PDF
Chapters (103)
  1. Cover
  2. ALSO BY BIANCA MARAIS
  3. Dedication
  4. Map
  5. CHAPTER ONE
  6. CHAPTER TWO
  7. CHAPTER THREE
  8. CHAPTER FOUR
  9. CHAPTER FIVE
  10. CHAPTER SIX
  11. CHAPTER SEVEN
  12. CHAPTER EIGHT
  13. CHAPTER NINE
  14. CHAPTER TEN
  15. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  16. CHAPTER TWELVE
  17. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  18. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  19. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  20. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  21. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  22. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  23. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  31. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  32. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  33. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  41. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  42. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  43. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  44. CHAPTER FORTY
  45. CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
  46. CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
  47. CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
  48. CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
  49. CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
  50. CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
  51. CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
  52. CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
  53. CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
  54. CHAPTER FIFTY
  55. CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
  56. CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
  57. CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
  58. CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
  59. CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
  60. CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
  61. CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
  62. CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
  63. CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE
  64. CHAPTER SIXTY
  65. CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
  66. CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
  67. CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
  68. CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR
  69. CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
  70. CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
  71. CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN
  72. CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT
  73. CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE
  74. CHAPTER SEVENTY
  75. CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
  76. CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
  77. CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
  78. CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
  79. CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
  80. CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX
  81. CHAPTER SEVENTY-SEVEN
  82. CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT
  83. CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE
  84. CHAPTER EIGHTY
  85. CHAPTER EIGHTY-ONE
  86. CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
  87. CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
  88. CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
  89. CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
  90. CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
  91. CHAPTER EIGHTY-SEVEN
  92. CHAPTER EIGHTY-EIGHT
  93. CHAPTER EIGHTY-NINE
  94. CHAPTER NINETY
  95. CHAPTER NINETY-ONE
  96. CHAPTER NINETY-TWO
  97. CHAPTER NINETY-THREE
  98. CHAPTER NINETY-FOUR
  99. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  100. GLOSSARY OF TERMS
  101. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  102. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  103. What’s next onyour reading list?

There is a universe of sorrow trapped in Zodwa’s throat that she cannot find the words to express. But Leleti was never a person of words; she was always a woman of deeds, showing her love by putting food on the table no matter how much the work to earn it demeaned her, and searching for her missing son decades after everyone else had given up on him.

Zodwa leans forward and kisses Leleti on her forehead, tears clouding her vision as she does so. She allows herself a few parting words though she doesn’t speak them aloud.

I will make you proud of me, Mama. I will make you proud. Just wait and see.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Delilah

27 May 1994

Verdriet, Magaliesburg, South Africa

After turning down the Coetzees’ offer on the farm, we’d woken up to find graffiti covering the garage door. SLET and KAFFIR BOETIE were spray-painted in red next to a giant AWB symbol.

“Gee,” Ruth said, standing outside in her kimono, “I wonder which one of us is the slut and which one the kaffir lover?” She flicked her cigarette butt and turned. “You’ve made us a target. Happy now?”

We hadn’t spoken a word to each other since.

Ruth had handed the baby over to the sanctuary just over two weeks before, and her drinking—which had already been worrisome—had just steadily gotten worse. On most days, she was drunk and belligerent by noon, which was a feat considering she usually only woke up at eleven. I thought Ruth would get over the baby more quickly, since I’d seen her form strong attachments time and time again and knew only too well how they all played out.

Regardless of whether the object of her affection was a person, an animal, or a material possession, Ruth would form an instant obsession that was always as brief as it was intense. She’d done it with countless boys whose love and attention she claimed she couldn’t live without, only to dump them just as soon as they declared their devotion to her, and I recalled the time she begged our parents for months for a baby goat after seeing one at a livestock fair.

Da finally gave in and rode miles to another farm to swap one of our piglets for one of their kid goats. Ruth was over the moon when Da brought it home, naming her Faloolah, and ridiculously asking Da if she could sleep in our room. Of course, she’d lost interest in it before a week was up, claiming it stank and that it was out to get her. The goat’s care fell to me after that.