When we’re in the parking lot half an hour later and I’m strapping Mandla into his car seat, a bakkie that’s leaving suddenly accelerates toward us, missing the open passenger door, and me behind it, by mere inches. There’s glare on the windscreen, so I only see who it is as they swerve to miss us and shoot past.

The girl with the black eye and the sunglasses is in the passenger seat. She’s sitting next to Klein Maynard Coetzee, the right-winger Afrikaner who’s been directing threats at us for over a year. He watches me in the rearview mirror and the hate in that reflected gaze makes me shudder.

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

Delilah

1 October 1995

Verdriet, Magaliesburg, and Our Lady of the Holy Trinity, Johannesburg, South Africa

The song that was playing on the radio the day I left Daniel behind at the convent was “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers. It’s something I’d never forgotten because the ballad about loss and regret felt like it was being sung especially for me as Father Thomas drove me to the airport.

So when I woke up on what would have been Daniel’s fortieth birthday to the sound of Ruth singing along with it on the radio, I knew it was my sign. It was time to finally claim my son. I briefly considered calling Riaan and asking him to make the drive with me, but quickly decided against it. Things had been strained between us since the night in the tent three months before when he’d kissed me and I’d reacted so strongly. Besides, how would I possibly explain Daniel’s existence to him?

I was surprised and then touched by Ruth’s response when I told her where I was going. “I’ll come with you. You’re going to need some moral support.” And then she winked and smiled. “Just so you know, I offer immoral support as well, in case you ever need that too.”

“What about Mandla?”

“I’ll get Zodwa to come in and look after him.”

“It’s Sunday, Ruth.”

“That’s fine. I’ll pay her overtime.”

Zodwa kindly agreed—looking happier than I ever would have been to look after a child on my only day off—and Ruth left a long list of instructions with her for Mandla’s care. Considering he was sick with a bad cold and that Ruth was so paranoid about his health, I was touched that she was prepared to leave him for the day.

We pulled up outside Daniel’s church, Our Lady of the Holy Trinity, just after the second service had cleared out.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Ruth asked, eyeing the church as though she might burst into flames if she set foot inside.

“No, I think I need to do this by myself.”