Her voice cracks. “He’s fighting for his life in hospital.”

I wasn’t expecting that. “What happened?”

“He grew up and became a priest, and then he was shot during a break-in at the rectory a little over a month ago. He’s been in a coma ever since.”

“I’m so sorry.” And I am. Shit, if I had the money to move him to a private hospital with better neurologists, I’d give it to her though it’s probably this generosity of spirit that’s contributed to my current financial predicament. Vince always said my heart was like a clown car: always room for one more.

“Thank you.” She stands up, wipes a tear away, and walks to her room. She turns back when she gets to the threshold and looks at the baby. “You now know everything, which is why I’m sure you understand why it’s too much having him here.”

“But . . . you managed to be around all those other orphaned children for so long without it getting to you, maybe you’ll get used to—”

“No, Ruth, I’m done with punishing myself like that. My days of doing penance are over. I can’t be around him. The baby needs to go.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Zodwa

12 May 1994

Big Hope Informal Settlement, Magaliesburg, South Africa

When Zodwa rises again, Leleti is back and she’s lying next to her. It was her mother’s coughing that woke Zodwa but she feels well rested and clear-headed for the first time in as long as she can remember. It’s as though she’s coming out of a fugue state, one in which everything felt numb and distant, and has gone from feeling nothing at all to feeling too much.

I have a son.

The thought makes Zodwa smile. She sits up and rubs her eyes. Something feels wet against her chest and she looks down to find the front of her nightgown saturated. Milk leaks from her aching breasts. She’s ready to nourish her son willingly now and looks around for him, suddenly desperate to hold him.

When she can’t find him, Zodwa assumes he’s cradled next to Leleti, who’s lying on her side. She leans across her mother to peer over her shoulder, surprised to discover there’s nothing there. Looking around the shack, she notices that the bags of baby things that she stuffed under the table are also gone. The dog is nowhere to be seen either.

Zodwa feels a jolt of alarm as she jostles Leleti awake. “Mama.” Her mother is hot to the touch.

Leleti rolls over, her eyes glazed with fever. The pillow is stained red. She groans and then closes her eyes again.

“Mama, wake up.”

Leleti’s eyes open again and seek Zodwa’s, though when they meet, it feels as if Leleti is looking right through her.

“Where’s the baby?”