I couldn’t move. I just lay there in shock, feeling my heart thudding against my breastbone as the bruises began to develop across my body. He went to the bathroom to fetch a towel, which he then tossed over me. “Clean yourself up and get dressed.”

I did as instructed.

“Come, let us pray,” he said, making me kneel down beside him. “Our Lord, Jesus Christ, Redeemer and Savior, I ask that you forgive Delilah her sins. She came here today with the express purpose of seducing a man of God. She allowed Satan to take up residence in her heart and acted like a Jezebel. In the same way that you forgave Peter’s denial and those who crucified you, forgive Delilah her trespasses against one of your most faithful sons.” He stood then. “We’ll never speak of this again.”

And he stayed true to his word. We never did.

The next morning, without any further reference to a replacement part for the car, we set off for the convent.

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

Zodwa

16 August 1995

Verdriet, Magaliesburg, South Africa

The one and a half months since Zodwa starting working at the farm have passed swiftly. When she walks from the main house to her cottage, she notices how winter has released its stingy grip, frugality giving way to abundance, mirroring her own improved circumstances.

Zodwa now earns more in a month than what she made at the shebeen in four. She doesn’t need to spend any of her earnings on food or toiletries because the sisters are generous, ensuring most of her physical needs are met. She’s sending more money home to her gogo, but also has enough to save toward a future that she now dares to dream about. Not that she’s there for the money. Even if they didn’t pay her a cent, she’d still do the job because it allows her access to her son.

Zodwa’s matric exams are coming up. She fills every night with studying so that the hours after bidding Mandla farewell don’t stretch out longer than they need to. Through burying herself in her coursework, Zodwa is remembering the girl she was before the rape, the one who loved learning and who excelled in her studies. If she demeans herself by laboring for these women, then surely there’s dignity to be found in watching over her son. If she degrades herself by scrubbing their toilets and floors, then surely there’s pride to be felt in the fact that Mandla’s world is made brighter by her endeavors.

That’s what she tells herself every day, which she begins by having breakfast with the family. It’s a ritual that Delilah started a week or so after Zodwa’s arrival when she discovered Zodwa eating by herself on the veranda while the two sisters and Mandla ate together at the dining room table.