I stepped inside behind him and sat on the inflatable mattress, groaning as I stretched my legs out.

Riaan laughed. “Getting stiff?”

“Yes. I felt it when we were sitting by the fire but now it’s much worse. These old bones may be too old to be sifting through anicent bones.”

I expected a laugh or some kind of protest, but he was staring at me intently as he crouched in front of me. I knew that expression; I’d seen it the night before I’d left for the convent.

Then, we’d been sitting on a blanket in one of the avocado orchards after sneaking out there at midnight to say our goodbyes. Riaan had packed a picnic basket, but neither of us had touched any of the food. It was a warm night and the orchard would soon be flowering. When that happened, bees would flock to it, but right then the grove was quiet, as though it was holding its breath. I knew how it felt.

We’d been reminiscing, murmuring softly, when Riaan suddenly sat up, a look of anguish on his face. “What can I say to make you stay?” Tears filled his eyes as he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. He did it so tenderly that I had to look away.

“Nothing,” I said. “You know this is my calling. You’ve known for years.”

He was quiet as he blinked back the tears and then he said, “No, this isn’t about that. This is about the priest. I know that you’re in love with him, Delilah.”

“No, I’m not!” The blotches of color blooming across my neck had betrayed me. The truth was that I’d been thinking of Father Thomas even as we sat there together, knowing that he’d be fetching me the next day to take me to the convent, and feeling both excited and terrified at the prospect of being alone with him in a car for a few hours.

“I see the way you look at him. You’ve never looked at me that way.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“And you only decided to become a nun after you met him.”

“That’s only because I didn’t know about converting to Catholicism until I met him!”

“Have you ever loved me?” Riaan asked, his voice raw with emotion.

“Of course I have. Of course I do. You’re my best friend—”

“Not like that. Not like a friend. You know how I feel about you, Delilah, how I’ve always felt about you. I love you and I think you could love me too if you just tried to see me as a man. I’m not that little boy anymore, the one you became friends with all those years ago.” He took my face and turned it back to his own so that I was forced to look at him.