He raises his pale face from his screen. The muscles of his jaw tight. For a second I want to take him home. Really, he’s old enough to make up his own mind, but legally, he has to do something until he is eighteen and he was so set on a career in medical research. If he does leave school, I don’t want his decision to be based on fear and gossip and guilt.

I know what it’s like to run away from a situation. From accusing stares and pointing fingers. It didn’t change the way I felt about myself inside. There are some things we can never escape.

Ryan and Tyler are waiting by the bus shelter. Tall and gangly. Wearing the Kings Park Secondary uniform but all of them scruffy somehow in the way that teenagers often are. Ties skewwhiff, laces untied. Hair sticking up at all angles. Clever enough to sit A levels but unable to grasp the concept of a brush or comb. It’s reassuring they can all support each other through today.

Connor climbs out of the passenger seat, dragging his rucksack behind him. He slams the door without saying goodbye.

I open the window. ‘Do you need any money for lunch?’

‘Nah,’ Connor says. I flash him a hard stare and he adds a begrudging, ‘Thanks.’

‘How’s your mum?’ I can’t help asking Ryan, studying his face. He doesn’t look like he got much sleep.

‘She’s…’ He shrugs. ‘She’s not going in to work today.’

The boys begin to walk away. ‘See you later,’ I call after them.

Connor turns. ‘Have a good day!’ I say brightly. He raises his hand. I can’t tell whether he is waving goodbye or dismissing me.

I drum my fingers on the steering wheel. I don’t like leaving Kieron for too long but stopping by Mel’s to check on her won’t take too much time. As awful as the situation with her and Fergus is, there’s still something in her voice last night bothering me. I can’t imagine why she didn’t want me to go round. We’ve always been so close.

She was scared.

Of what?

A chill slowly creeps across me as I recall the dead birds on my doorstep, their insides spilling out. Was it a cat or was it someone blaming Connor for what’s happened and if so, are they blaming Ryan too? Had something happened at Mel and Fergus’s house? The stress on us all over the past few months has been immense; I’d thought more for us being Connor’s parents but perhaps just as much for Fergus because he’d been there. In charge.

I need to see her.