‘To the supermarket. I’ve hardly been out having fun.’

‘And the walks “to clear your head”.’

‘You could have come.’

‘You could have asked. ‘He looks at me with such contempt. I shrivel under his gaze until he is the towering adult and I am the reproached child.

‘You’re right.’ I take a breath. We both need to calm down. ‘I assumed you’d say if you wanted to get out and you were gaming with Kieron, but I should have made a point of asking you. Why don’t you come with us today? To the hospital? It would help with Kieron if you’re there.’ It wouldn’t really make any difference but I don’t want Connor sitting alone, brooding, while all of his classmates are at school.

‘So you want me with you when you need my help,’ comes back the stinging reply. ‘I don’t want to come.’

I react too quickly. ‘There’s loads of things I don’t want to do but I do them anyway. For Kieron, for—’

‘Don’t say for me!’ Connor’s fury streaks towards me. ‘You never fucking do anything for me.’

‘That’s not true!’ I don’t want to fuel his anger but he’s been snapping at me all weekend and now I quietly defend myself, ‘I—’

‘Fucked my life up!’ He is screaming now. Out of control. I know it isn’t me he’s really furious with, not really, but it still hurts to hear him say, ‘You don’t know what it’s been like for me and do you care? You pack me off to that… that shit-hole every day where Mr Marshall glares at me and a bunch of twats think it’s funny to wind me up about what happened.’

‘I can’t imagine anyone would—’

‘I am NOT imagining it. I’ve had posters taped to my locker – “I know what you did last summer” like the film. And words scratched into my desk: “I know”.’

‘Connor, I’m sorry but—’

‘But you love Kieron more than me.’

‘I really don’t!’

‘You do. You love Kieron more than anyone else!’

His rage is absolute. I’m unprepared. Doubting myself. Too tired, too worried, to process his assault. It’s like being underwater. I’m hearing everything. Seeing everything. But it’s all muffled. I don’t feel well. Increasingly breaking out in a sweat, head light, limbs heavy.

I can’t cope anymore.

I’ve gone to extraordinary lengths for both of my children, as any parent would. I love them equally. Even if at this moment I do not like the red-faced, furious teenager stood in front of me, who is still talking too loud.

‘Well it bloody seems like it. You literally wouldn’t care if I vanished like Ryan and Tyler. That you’d be glad.’

‘Of course I wouldn’t—’