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Back When I Lost You Save as PDF
Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Prologue
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-one
  26. Twenty-two
  27. Twenty-three
  28. Twenty-four
  29. Twenty-five
  30. Twenty-six
  31. Twenty-seven
  32. Twenty-eight
  33. Twenty-nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-one
  36. Thirty-two
  37. Thirty-three
  38. Thirty-four
  39. Thirty-five
  40. Thirty-six
  41. Thirty-seven
  42. Thirty-eight
  43. Thirty-nine
  44. Forty
  45. Forty-one
  46. Forty-two
  47. Forty-three
  48. Forty-four
  49. Forty-five
  50. Forty-six
  51. Forty-seven
  52. Forty-eight
  53. Forty-nine
  54. Fifty
  55. Fifty-one
  56. Fifty-two
  57. Fifty-three
  58. Fifty-four
  59. Fifty-five
  60. Fifty-six
  61. Fifty-seven
  62. Fifty-eight
  63. Fifty-nine
  64. Sixty
  65. Sixty-one
  66. Sixty-two
  67. Sixty-three
  68. Sixty-four
  69. Sixty-five
  70. Sixty-six
  71. Sixty-seven
  72. Epilogue
  73. Acknowledgments
  74. Read More
  75. Prologue
  76. One
  77. Two
  78. Three
  79. Four
  80. Follow Merilyn online
  81. Dedication

I scan his face, checking for signs of tears or anger, but he’s doing what he always does – holding it together. For my sake. Always for me, never for him.

I lie next to him and wrap one leg around his. ‘I won’t go to jail.’

He turns to look at me. ‘Sometimes I think that’s what you want. That you want to be there as punishment for the guilt you feel.’

I hold his gaze. ‘I won’t go away. I promise.’ My voice sounds as sure as I feel. I will never leave this man.

We stay like that for what seems like ages, until I feel sleep poke at the corners of my eyes, and my thoughts become hazy.

‘I love you.’

He leans over and kisses me gently. ‘I love you too,’ he says, his nose close to mine. ‘Just be careful, OK?’

‘I will, I promise.’

‘Because Eve’s not going to go down without a fight.’

I feel myself starting to wake, so put my finger on his lips and close my eyes. ‘I’m not going to fight her. I just want her to help me finish it.’

But as I lie and listen to his breath deepen, I know it isn’t true. If Eve wants a fight, I’ll be there, and I’ll make sure her whole life crumbles before her while I watch and laugh.

Four

Crime analyst Carla Brown wiped the previous week’s jobs off the board and wrote the three things she knew about last night’s case: Baby Georgie – dead, Kelly-Anne Wilson – mum, Connor O’Brian – dad. She wondered, again, why Nell hadn’t arrested one or both of them. Maybe the pathologist hadn’t found anything conclusive at the scene, maybe Nell didn’t want to clog up custody without good grounds, maybe she should stop second-guessing and wait for Nell to get in.

Picking up her still-warm coffee, Carla went outside for a cigarette.

The morning sky was a clear blue, the absence of cloud suggesting the heatwave wasn’t going to break any time soon. Lining tobacco on the slim paper, Carla watched a two-seater plane come in to land at the airport across from Thames Valley North HQ. She could do without the heat. White-blonde hair and pale skin meant the sun didn’t do it for her, and zero air conditioning coupled with ineffectual office windows meant by midday the team had borderline heatstroke.