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Back When I Lost You Save as PDF
Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Prologue
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-one
  26. Twenty-two
  27. Twenty-three
  28. Twenty-four
  29. Twenty-five
  30. Twenty-six
  31. Twenty-seven
  32. Twenty-eight
  33. Twenty-nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-one
  36. Thirty-two
  37. Thirty-three
  38. Thirty-four
  39. Thirty-five
  40. Thirty-six
  41. Thirty-seven
  42. Thirty-eight
  43. Thirty-nine
  44. Forty
  45. Forty-one
  46. Forty-two
  47. Forty-three
  48. Forty-four
  49. Forty-five
  50. Forty-six
  51. Forty-seven
  52. Forty-eight
  53. Forty-nine
  54. Fifty
  55. Fifty-one
  56. Fifty-two
  57. Fifty-three
  58. Fifty-four
  59. Fifty-five
  60. Fifty-six
  61. Fifty-seven
  62. Fifty-eight
  63. Fifty-nine
  64. Sixty
  65. Sixty-one
  66. Sixty-two
  67. Sixty-three
  68. Sixty-four
  69. Sixty-five
  70. Sixty-six
  71. Sixty-seven
  72. Epilogue
  73. Acknowledgments
  74. Read More
  75. Prologue
  76. One
  77. Two
  78. Three
  79. Four
  80. Follow Merilyn online
  81. Dedication

‘Do you understand why I did it?’ I study his face as I speak, trying to judge the response before it’s spoken, but he gives me nothing – just continues to stare at the ceiling as if he can find the answer there.

‘Eve has taken over my life—’ I begin, but he raises a hand to stop me.

‘No. You’ve let her do that.’

I’m so stunned for a moment I don’t speak, then I push myself up by my elbow. ‘And how’s that?’ My glare pulls his eyes to mine.

‘You can choose whether she takes over your life.’

‘My choice? All this was my choice?’

‘Yes.’ He is so definite it winds me. I fall back on the bed and roll on to my back, folding my arms against my chest.

It’s his turn to roll towards me, an olive branch I don’t want to take, but when he speaks his voice is gentle and I can’t help but lean into it.

‘Why did you write the letter?’ His voice is calm, but behind it lie a thousand more questions, the answers to which I know he doesn’t want to hear.

‘To stop Eve,’ I say. But I can feel his stare deep under my skin, breaking bones as it bores into me.

‘And what do you intend to achieve? What do you want to happen after she gets the letter?’

The reply feels so self-evident I almost don’t know where to begin. ‘I expect her to listen, to help me put this all behind us, so I can move forward again and be who I used to be.’

Staring at the ceiling, he sighs.

‘What?’ I sound angrier than I am, so I lay my hand on his arm. ‘Don’t you want that too?’

‘I don’t think either of us knows who you are any more.’

It feels like a slap and I jerk my hand back. ‘Well then that’s another reason to get her to stop, tell her what she’s done so she can’t destroy another life like she’s destroyed mine.’

He doesn’t move. ‘And what do you think the police will do?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’ve written a letter to a renowned pathologist accusing her of potentially misleading the police about a case she is working on.’

I huff, then feel like a child, so I cross my legs and make myself consider what he’s said. The police are bound to be interested – if Eve tells them, that is. Maybe she won’t. Maybe she won’t want them looking into what she’s done. But isn’t that what I want? For them to know?

‘What if you go to jail?’

I snap round to face him. ‘Why would that happen? It’s just a letter.’

‘I can’t be without you. Not after everything we’ve gone through.’