BooksBarbecue
Back When I Lost You
Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Prologue
  5. One
  6. Two
  7. Three
  8. Four
  9. Five
  10. Six
  11. Seven
  12. Eight
  13. Nine
  14. Ten
  15. Eleven
  16. Twelve
  17. Thirteen
  18. Fourteen
  19. Fifteen
  20. Sixteen
  21. Seventeen
  22. Eighteen
  23. Nineteen
  24. Twenty
  25. Twenty-one
  26. Twenty-two
  27. Twenty-three
  28. Twenty-four
  29. Twenty-five
  30. Twenty-six
  31. Twenty-seven
  32. Twenty-eight
  33. Twenty-nine
  34. Thirty
  35. Thirty-one
  36. Thirty-two
  37. Thirty-three
  38. Thirty-four
  39. Thirty-five
  40. Thirty-six
  41. Thirty-seven
  42. Thirty-eight
  43. Thirty-nine
  44. Forty
  45. Forty-one
  46. Forty-two
  47. Forty-three
  48. Forty-four
  49. Forty-five
  50. Forty-six
  51. Forty-seven
  52. Forty-eight
  53. Forty-nine
  54. Fifty
  55. Fifty-one
  56. Fifty-two
  57. Fifty-three
  58. Fifty-four
  59. Fifty-five
  60. Fifty-six
  61. Fifty-seven
  62. Fifty-eight
  63. Fifty-nine
  64. Sixty
  65. Sixty-one
  66. Sixty-two
  67. Sixty-three
  68. Sixty-four
  69. Sixty-five
  70. Sixty-six
  71. Sixty-seven
  72. Epilogue
  73. Acknowledgments
  74. Read More
  75. Prologue
  76. One
  77. Two
  78. Three
  79. Four
  80. Follow Merilyn online
  81. Dedication

‘Sometimes.’ Aoife’s tone is guarded and rightly so, as I catch a flicker of interest in the second officer’s face. I give Aoife a look to warn her, but whether she doesn’t see or she doesn’t care, I don’t know.

‘Are you ever there alone with just Alf?’

‘Yes. What of it?’ Aoife replies.

I’ve heard that tone so many times before I know it means the mist has come down, that whatever happens next is not going to be under her control.

‘What did you do when you were there after closing?’

Aoife takes her hand out of mine, leans across the table. ‘Fuck,’ she spits.

The lack of shock on the police officers’ faces should tell us something, but all I can think is, Aoife, don’t ruin it. Don’t take it away from us by telling. They’ll separate us and I’ll be alone again.

The police officer asks more questions but by now Aoife’s anger has made her mute and the fear in my belly has rendered me the same. What is Alf going to say? Will they arrest him? Will he send people to hurt us because we told? But then I have a thought – it wasn’t me who told. I was asked by Harriet and I didn’t say a word. I did what he asked; it was Aoife who didn’t, she is the one to blame.

And in that second, the seed of doubt which has been growing with the baby – the fear she will love me less, the baby more – turns into a gap, just a chink, but I know it can grow to divide us: me one side, Aoife the other, Alf in the middle. Which way will I jump – towards her, or him? And sitting here in the stuffy room with two leering policemen staring at us like specimens in a jar, panic tearing at my heart, I don’t think I know.

Thirty-three

Needing nicotine, Carla headed outside, but as she turned the corner by the entrance to HQ she saw Eve standing there. Deep in thought, she was leaning against the wall staring upwards, a cigarette held loosely by her side. Shit. She’d have to ditch the idea and come back later, but just as she was about to turn back, Eve looked over and raised a hand of acknowledgement.

‘Carla,’ she called over, ‘come and join me. Lung cancer is far more palatable when it has company.’

With no way to get out of it, Carla walked across and accepted the offer of a lighter.

‘That DCI of yours is a charmer, isn’t he?’ She stared down at Carla. ‘Don’t go falling for his smile, Carla Brown.’

‘I won’t. He’s OK really. Just a bit …’ She searched for the right word.

‘Arrogant,’ Eve decided for her.

‘Yeah. Well, he is ex-Met.’