So when they say, “Get in line,” I get in line, you know? It isn’t like I want to be in line. I hate getting in line. “I’m a rebel, man! I used to smoke pot! I marched in Washington against something once. I love to drive around in my four-wheel drive, blasting Rage Against the Machine with my seat-belt cinched tightly around my flabby middle! That’s the kind of rebel I am.

Yeah, I’m a rebel, alright, but in the long run I have to get in line. I better fucking get in line. That’s the deal. Because if I don’t, then maybe nobody will, and if nobody gets in line, then what do you have? Chaos!

And if things get really chaotic, what’s going to happen to me? I’m going to lose. Because I mean that’s the whole point of civilization isn’t it? To protect the weak against the strong! And when things get out of control, it’s the bad guys who take over. And I’m no bad guy, I’m no Hun! I’m no Mongol! I’m no bad-ass. I’m no Hell’s Angel.

(Jumps into gruff biker voice:)

You know when you just had sex … You’re lying on the bed, the two of yas, you’re all spaced-out. All sweaty and smelly, you smell like a couple of camels at the zoo. You got stuff all stuck all over ya. Your hair’s all pushed over to one side. She’s lying there, she’s got a big puddle of come on her belly. And you’re like writing your name in the come on her belly. Then you go south. And then you start fooling with her honey pot. Stirring the honey, oh yeah.

And she’s like, “OHHHHHH!” And then she reaches over and starts yanking on your joystick and the two of you are like, “OOOOOHHHH!! AAAHHHHHH!” Next thing you know: Oh, look who’s back in action, the little soldier! He’s ready for another battle!

So you get ready to do it again, because the second time’s always the best, you know what I mean? Always more intense. And you get ready to stick it in … But what do you gotta do before you stick the little doggy in the doghouse? What do you always haveta do? Get out the hash pipe, right?