And from this, the guy gets an attitude. You know? All indignant. Gets in my face. Now I’m in a fight. How did this happen? And I can walk away, I can walk away. But I have my needs today. And I’ve learned to respect my needs. And my need was to punch him in the face, so I did.

So yeah, we got thrown out of the stadium. But you know, shit happens, I understand that today. I take life on life’s terms. They give you lemons, you make lemonade.

The kids don’t always understand. The little one was like, “Why were there only four innings in the game, Daddy?” (Laughs) They’re so cute. And they want the pennants and the key chains and the baseball caps. And I’m honest with them, you know? “Sorry guys, Daddy doesn’t have any money. OK? Daddy doesn’t have a job, OK? It’s not Daddy’s fault he has a dick-head boss who can’t take a little honest criticism.”

And the little one’s like, “I want a Derek Jeter autographed baseball, I want a Derek Jeter autographed baseball.” Like a broken record. And I’m like, “You want a Derek Jeter autographed baseball? Go ask Derek Jeter! He’s probably got baseballs lying all over his house.”

So now he’s crying. And I’m guilty. I want to kill myself, right there. I even said to them, “You know what? You kids piss me off so much I’m going to jump in front of that subway train, right? Get sliced right in half. Then you’ll be happy. Just like your mother!” Of course I didn’t. I can’t win!

I drop the kids back at my ex’s. And she’s all pissed at me for giving ’em Cracker Jacks for dinner. You know what? I love my kids. They want Cracker Jacks for dinner, they can have Cracker Jacks for dinner. I was denied that love as a child when I was their age. And I’m not gonna do that to my own flesh and blood.

So she gets on the phone to her best friend complaining about how I’m not nurturing blah-blah-blah. Right in front of the kids. Emasculating me. Fortunately, I know what to do today. I calmly walked over to where she was standing, grabbed the phone, and pulled it off the wall. I did not throw it. I did not throw it.

And she goes berserk. Screaming and crying. Nuts. I’m like, “HEY GET OFF THE CROSS, WE NEED THE WOOD!” And I can’t be around all that insanity today. It’s too much for me.