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Contents (230)
  1. Dedication
  2. Contents
  3. Part One
  4. Escape
  5. Best Friends
  6. Beach Food
  7. Teatime
  8. The Perfect Day
  9. Home
  10. The Worst Day
  11. Tangle
  12. Math Class
  13. My Family’s Outsides
  14. Visiting Grandmothers
  15. Dadi
  16. Seeds of Hope
  17. Nana
  18. Nana
  19. Nana
  20. My Grandmother Nana’s Hands
  21. Blue Cocoon
  22. Motia and Mehndi
  23. Part Two
  24. On Land
  25. settle
  26. Nurah Haqq
  27. My Mother
  28. Language Barrier
  29. Language
  30. Which Land Is Mine?
  31. Hotel
  32. Little
  33. Stop
  34. My Family
  35. Ammi Says
  36. Where?
  37. Part Three
  38. The Rec Center
  39. Warm Welcome
  40. Blue Cocoon
  41. Trophy Case
  42. TV
  43. School Morning
  44. The First Day of School
  45. Language Arts
  46. Science Class
  47. Hands
  48. Math Class Decisions
  49. Coloring 101
  50. Lunchtime
  51. Second Day of School
  52. Aidan
  53. Lab Partner
  54. Clothes
  55. Autumn
  56. Sweet in Comfort Suites
  57. Comfort in Comfort Suites
  58. The Ways of Rice
  59. House Hunting
  60. A New House
  61. Lunchtime
  62. Skype Calls
  63. Walking to the Rec Center
  64. Rec Center
  65. Cold
  66. Karachi
  67. American Winter
  68. Baba’s Patience
  69. Birds
  70. After School
  71. Bright-Yellow Flyer
  72. Teatime
  73. Skin
  74. Dollop of Hope
  75. Pep Talk
  76. Stahr
  77. Camouflage
  78. Imagine
  79. Difference
  80. Swim Tryouts
  81. Strokes
  82. Alyson
  83. Owais
  84. Masjid
  85. Junaid
  86. Hair
  87. School
  88. Stand Out
  89. Fall Parent Conferences
  90. Amphibian
  91. On the Way Home
  92. Swim Team
  93. Part Four
  94. My Mother’s Belly
  95. Back Home
  96. Doubts
  97. Before Bed
  98. My Father’s Answer
  99. Anger
  100. Swimming
  101. The Moment
  102. Teatime
  103. Part Five
  104. The House
  105. Raspberry
  106. Google
  107. Baby Sizes
  108. Nurah Haqq
  109. Skype
  110. Fajr Prayer Before Sunrise
  111. Nana’s Worries
  112. Swim Meets
  113. Where Is My Mother?
  114. Almost Neighbors
  115. The Next Day
  116. Teatime
  117. Plans of Penelope
  118. Staying Together
  119. The Surprise
  120. Leftover Paint
  121. Art Class
  122. My Art Teacher
  123. The Words of Ms. White
  124. Swim Meets
  125. Swim Meet
  126. Extra Sleep
  127. Afternoons
  128. Help
  129. Delayed Teatime
  130. Getting Better
  131. Part Six
  132. Bullied
  133. The Bus
  134. Jay
  135. Did You Know?
  136. The Incident
  137. I Wish
  138. Sunday School
  139. Pep Talk
  140. Courage
  141. Time
  142. Temper
  143. Inside
  144. The Incident
  145. Tomorrow
  146. Aftermath
  147. Terrorist Attack
  148. Knock on the Door
  149. Facts
  150. Art Class
  151. After the Terrorist Attack
  152. Part Seven
  153. Looks
  154. Jealousy
  155. Owais’s Room
  156. Extra Practice
  157. Star Athlete
  158. Instead of Pointers
  159. False Promises
  160. Before the Locker Rooms
  161. Locker Rooms
  162. Girls’ Locker Room
  163. Waiting
  164. Probably
  165. Lifeguard
  166. Stretcher
  167. Hospital
  168. Sorry
  169. Fighter
  170. Home Visit
  171. For My Brother
  172. Later
  173. Part Eight
  174. In America
  175. Dadi
  176. Airport
  177. Babysitting
  178. Hardware Store—$14.99
  179. Garden
  180. Deadheading
  181. Chess
  182. Junaid
  183. Conspirator
  184. The Walk Home
  185. Weighing Down of Words
  186. Aidan
  187. Decision
  188. The Mirror
  189. No Longer
  190. Lab
  191. Trying Again
  192. Melty Circles of Joy
  193. Unwanted
  194. Practice
  195. Spring Conferences
  196. Part Nine
  197. Owais’s Room
  198. Without Owais
  199. Offerings
  200. Returning
  201. My Father
  202. Thirsty
  203. Friends
  204. Hobbies of My Brother
  205. Who Do We Have?
  206. Stamina
  207. Sunday School
  208. Masjid Lobby
  209. Final Art Project
  210. Final Swim Meet
  211. Coach Kelly’s Warm-Up
  212. Diving Block
  213. 50 Yards
  214. Final Swim Meet
  215. Owais’s Turn
  216. Medal
  217. Newspaper
  218. Summer
  219. Visitor
  220. Teatime
  221. For My Mother
  222. So
  223. Windy Day
  224. Author’s Note
  225. Glossary
  226. Nurah’s Aloo Kabab Lunch Recipe
  227. Acknowledgments
  228. About the Author
  229. Copyright
  230. About the Publisher

My Author Friends and Blurbers: Veera Hiranandani, Aisha Saeed, Hena Khan, Rajani LaRocca, Aya Khalil, Saadia Faruqi, Saira Mir, Marzieh Abbas, and Becky Sayler for being there at all hours!

Ilse Craane and Kendra Marcus, my previous agents, for telling me numerous times to write middle grade (I listened!) and for encouraging me while this book was in its broken stages.

My eleventh grade English teacher—Mrs. Patricia Carman for transforming me by giving me the gift of writing and for your inspiring “coffee breaks.”

These supportive groups: Rena’s Renegades, #DiverseDreamers, #MGBookChat, #the21ders

Author Jasmine Warga, whose novel in verse gave me the boost I needed to finish mine.

Eliot VanValkenburg, Aisha Zakaria, and Dr. Amena Dossul for swimming expertise.

My BFFs, Salma Stoman, Sarah Stoman, and Saira Pasha for coaxing me out of my writing cocoon for dinner six feet apart outside, laughter, and endless memories.

My courageous cousin Noor Faruqi for sharing your locker room incident with me.

My Whole Family (including all my twenty-five cousins!) in Peachtree City, in Pakistan, and beyond.

Mom and Abajan (Mrs. Nazia Malik and Dr. Firasat Malik), Daado-Jan (Mrs. Ismat Malik): Love and Duas. Abajan, thanks for comparing tea to the color of your skin; it inspired me!

Cousins Dr. Amena Dossul and Asna Dossul for being my sisters, my BFFS, my everything, and whose names I will trace on the beach sand for the rest of my life.

My three brothers, Hamzah, Talha, and Osman: I don’t know who I would be without you.

—Hamzah, for standing up for the man on the bus and for always being so kind.

—Talha, for saying you always thought I’d be a writer: it spurred me on more than you thought. Thank you for always cooking for us (even though my butter chicken tastes better.)

—Osman, thanks for complimenting my writing once. Means a lot coming from you! ☺

Nana (Mrs. Zarina Zakaria), so much of this book I thought of you. Thank you for always gifting us the perfect clothes. I love your love for nature. Since Nana Abu’s death, I am in awe of your strength.

My parents, Amma and Abba (Mrs. Huma and Mr. Zaheer Faruqi), for coming over, watching the children, emptying the dish rack, providing me aloo kababs, and for shaping me into who I am. Amma, special thanks for Wednesdays. Abba, thanks for your stories and love for kites. You both made moving continents look easy. Without you, I would have a very messy home and still be working on this book.

My husband, Naoman Malik, for reading my story early on, saying I had stars and just needed to make them into a constellation, and for printing out my many manuscripts over the years! Thank you x infinity for making sacrifices, BIG and small, so I could write.

My daughters Zineera, Anisa, Hanifa for cleaning, baking, joyous chaos, and for being the reason why I have to get off my computer. I pray you wear your faith proudly.