If I were to do

the same dive,

she would not clap

for me.

Owais is

a better diver

a better swimmer

better in looks

and most things

and sometimes when

I’m with him

I fade

away.

If I were to sink

to the bottom

of the pool,

nobody would notice.

They would be too busy

looking at Owais

diving and

diving again.

The girl with pink-

painted lips

waves to Owais

before he goes

to the locker rooms.

He waves back

and I roll my eyes.

False Promises

Owais

didn’t show me

any pointers.

Owais

didn’t teach me

anything.

Owais

didn’t do

what he was supposed

to do.

Before the Locker Rooms

Out of the corner

of my eye

I see two of them

with football-player bodies.

They exchange a look

before they frown at Owais,

who still has a smile

on his lips.

They walk toward the girl

with the pink-painted lips.

That jerk needs to stop showing off.

I see one nudge the other.

I know, right?

smirks the girl

with the pink-painted lips.

She’s looking

straight at me.

Do you know him?

she asks.

I don’t really know him.

Not anymore.

I let out a laugh

that doesn’t sound

like a laugh.

I let out a shrug

that doesn’t look

like a shrug.

I let my mouth become an O

let my answer s l i p

out easily

too

easily.

Nope.

Locker Rooms

I should call Owais back

before he goes

inside the locker room

but he isn’t paying attention

to me.

So

I

let

him

go.

Girls’ Locker Room

Underneath the shower

drip drop drip

runs shower water

Drip drop drip

run my tears

not from

the chemicals

of the pool,

but from

the chemicals

of my heart.

And although

the water is hot,

my tears

run cold.

I try to wash

the worries away

scrub my fears

lather the pesky voice

that says

What kind

of person,

what kind

of sister

are you?

Waiting

I am waiting

for too long

outside the locker rooms

on the too-hard bench

and the two guys

who are tall tall tall

and wide wide wide

come out

laughing.

The girl

with the pink-painted lips

smirks at them

All done? she says.

I am stuck

waiting

waiting

waiting

for Owais.

Where is he?

Guilt nibbles at my stomach.

I stood up

for the bus monitor man,

but for my brother who

has 2 arms

and is better than me

at everything

I didn’t call back.

When trouble

was thick in the air,

heavy in my ears,

I just watched

and waited.

Invisible.

Probably

He is probably just taking

a long

long

long

long

long

shower.

Right?

Lifeguard

Turning out the lights

my tongue is swollen

with tension.

My words are dry.

My brother hasn’t

come out yet,

can you check on him—

please?

Stretcher

Under a sky

the color of

broken promises

the body of

my brother

is lifted out

of the locker room

in a stretcher.

His face