Customers came and went. I waited at the till and asked if we could meet up one day. She could come over to ours or else I could. I wrote my mobile number on the corner of a free smalånger map and gave it to her. Text or phone me. I’m at work monday tuesday then off until sunday.

Why would you even want to she asked. I’ve got mates already. Of my own age.

Maria is apparently my halfsister I said. That makes the two of us relatives. Niece. Aunt. 167

I didn’t mention that we were related in other ways as well. I never spoke to strangers about diana.

She said nothing to that. Only stood there for a while. Then irritation returned to her face.

I don’t believe it she said. I would’ve known.

Maria herself didn’t know I said.

So it’s like only you know and nobody else she said.

Your dad told me. You can ask him. By the way I ran into jakobstenvall when I walked up to katarina. He mentioned you. Said the two of you were going out together.

He’s a nutter she said and sighed. Turns up here every day. Buys a coffee and then just sits and stares at me without saying anything.

But also never does anything I asked.

No he has never done anything at all. Why do you ask.

No special reason I said but thought of the mariaphoto he had put up on the old volvo’s dashboard like an icon on an altar.

To get to kippofarm I had to walk for a couple of kilometres uphill. I was trying to work out why john was the only one who knew that maria was one of father’s. Possibly father had told him just wanting to brag. Or it could simply have been a pack of lies.

Asking john was the only way to find out but he might not tell. From him you mostly got facts you didn’t want to know. The messenger who always brought bad news.

I was going to open the letters as soon as I got home. But first I took a bottle of wine from bror’s store and fixed myself a few crispbread sandwiches with smoked cheese.

The box stood on the table. I couldn’t make up my mind to begin. I wandered around the house. Threw a few towels into the laundry basket. Dusted the bestroom dado rails. Used my 168fingernail on a candlewax spill on the dining table and kept at it until the wax came off. Tried to gather my thoughts and think ahead like a rational person. Now and then I went to the kitchen for another sip of wine. I hadn’t been drinking for quite a while and was already feeling the effect.