My jealousy was boundless. It invaded my whole body and made it shiver as if I were feverish. I couldn’t bear looking at them. Looked away pretended not to listen whenever katarina.

She even wrote me a letter that I never opened.

They walked around school hand in hand. Sat next to each other in the classes. Kissed in front of everyone and were so in love the teachers didn’t know where to look. It was touching.

Inside me endless waves of emotion rose fell back rose again. What I felt must be expressed. I wanted to be liked a lot. Especially by magnus. And I wanted magnus to like me a lot in order to hurt katarina.

So I started a rumour that she had done it with andreas. Andreas who had been in love with katarina for ages agreed to back the story if I paid him.

Naturally it couldn’t be proved but it couldn’t be disproved either. No smoke without fire. I was the fire. It was burning high. Soon katarina would go up in flames too like a mayday bonfire at gallow’s hill. I almost felt sorry for her. She refused to go to school for months and she had changed when she finally returned towards the end of the last year. Not only her body but everything about her way of being had transformed from a child’s into a grownup’s.

She accused me of having ruined her life. So who started acting out I said.

166I had originally planned to go back the same way but the prospect of going back past jakobstenvall’s car homes made me uneasy. I locked katarina away in my mind and set out on the usual track towards the centre of smalånger village.

I was thirsty after the cleaning and the walking so I went into the ok filling station to buy a fizzy drink. And a hotdog because I was there. I stood at the counter. Ate the hotdog and drank portello. The doorbell pinged as people walked in and out.

Petra had the late shift that evening. She came across and sat down with me for a while.

You wanted to talk to me she said stirring a couple of sugar-lumps into her coffee. I hope it isn’t to do with dad. I can’t cope anymore with being his gobetween.

Are you usually I asked and she nodded. It happens. He doesn’t half mess things up.

Your mum I began uncertainly just to probe her reaction. Petra responded unmistakeably. Something restless came over her. She got up to fetch a napkin.

If this has to do with your brother I simply don’t know she said. Besides and I mean it I don’t give a monkey’s who she went with. The question seems more like who she didn’t go with.