Stefan was the host and stood at the entrance to greet newcomers. I hugged him and then went to sit in a pew at the back. When the bells began to toll someone sat down beside me. No need to check who it might be.

Hi he whispered and hi I whispered back. Are you feeling allright he asked and I said yes. Do you miss me he asked and I said yes. Will you come to see me later he asked and I said maybe. Then he shuffled along to sit a little closer so our legs touched. He wore 131a black suit and a white shirt as was only right and proper. I wore a black skirt and white blouse as was only right and proper. We stood to pray. Ourfatherwhichartinheavenhallowedbethyname.

The minister started with ingelahansson and then went on to katarina.

Katarina was a happy and warmhearted person the minister told us. She had many friends and some of you have met up here today to say a last goodbye.

I stopped listening. Responded to john’s warm leg against mine and thought about his body. Saw its hairy entirety in my mind’s eye. Saw how it always strove to be on top. There was a tingling sensation between my legs. I stole a glance at him. His curly hair fell in waves around his head. He smiled a little and moved his hand closer to mine. We went on whispering. Did you mean what you said the last time. Yes and no. I know nothing about you. I hear a lot of talk but can’t work out what’s true and false.

Do you trust me he asked. No I said.

His hand held mine now. Do you love me he whispered even more quietly. I think so I said. Say it he urged. I want to hear you say it. But then the organ burst out into the prelude to morning-hasbroken and our voices were drowned in the singing.

The funeral service was coming to an end. Singly or in small groups we went up to the coffins to say a last farewell. We walked together john and I. I stole a glance at the congregation and noted that they were whispering about us.

I lingered with katarina. Placed a small bunch of bluebells and marguerites on her coffin. John had brought marigolds. Sleep well my dear he said and I couldn’t help wondering.

The post-funeral party or whatever one is supposed to call it was a success. The guests especially approved of the free topups 132of their glasses. They were eating and drinking with a gusto probably never before seen in the church hall. The noise level went up and people seemed to have forgotten the reason for meeting up.