I had been here for father’s burial because I wanted to see his coffin lowered underground. As reassurance that he really was dead. Even so there was the persistent troublesome notion that he might have got into heaven on the back of mother’s faith in the warm promise of forgiveness that extended to embrace even animalkillers and childabusers. Mother placed a red rose on his coffin. Said that they would meet again. I put my hand on the coffin lid and whispered if we ever meet I won’t fail again.

Twentytwo years later I was here facing his gravestone.

Beloved husband and father missed forever it said first in a slightly sloping script. Below it said erikkippo in gilt lettering. Wife and her date of birth followed below his name. Not his wife siri, only wife. The drowsy tapeworm suddenly became alert. Recently it had been unusually calm. Now it had spotted the next lines of lettering and its jaws opened wide. The inscription said bror. Then jana. The same date of birth and plenty of room for more text.

The idea was that we would all end up in the same grave. As a family we would share our last rest. Someone had placed a candle next to the gravestone. The candle looked new.

I walked back to the car seething with the grave plunderer’s urge to overturn gravestones and tear out the plants with their roots. I rarely thought about father these days but much more often about mother. I had been on my way to see her many times but changed my mind. Every time I said forgive I remembered her beaten bruised face under the headscarf. How she pretended all was well and looked the other way when our turn came. You 89must learn to forgive she kept saying like a mantra. Even as god forgave mankind as they went for his son. Your father doesn’t really want to harm you. All he wants is an orderly home.

Fredrik had called at the funeral directors and as agreed had signed a written statement that transferred all arrangements for the funeral to me. The money had been paid into my account as well. Märitljungqvist wouldn’t be best pleased with this. She would consider it unsuitable and use words such as bias bribe blackmail and personal advantage. Which is why I asked nordin not to let on.

Our eyes met. His eyebrows stood out like pale sticks.

Goes without saying he said. We are bound by confidentiality.

He handed over a folder with a dark blue velvety back. Just take as much time as you need he said and put another folder on the counter. This time backed in red velvet.