So he was john said. But erik wasn’t the worst. Mostly he said things like that when somebody could hear him. It took a while for me to understand that I had taken his place as family underdog and he was keen that I should stay.

That first evening he nicked a hunk of bread and a slice of meat jelly for me to eat. He took the food to the leanto. While I ate he explained what I must do to fit in. I had to get up when everyone else did and go to the byre. Watch out for kicking hooves and do as I was told by anyone else. Work and hang on until signe your gran thought I deserved a stool to sit on by the sink. 235

Weren’t you ever allowed to eat with the others I asked.

No. Signe figured that my cleft palate signified the hand of the devil. Demons had probably taken possession of me. She couldn’t risk having one of his eat at her table. It would foul the food. She prayed to the lord that he would take pity.

She was well into the devil and hell and all his works. To be on the safe side she regarded most things as sinful. She was one of the righteous and she knew of no better way to force the sin out of children than subjecting them to physical abuse.

She’s still alive I said. Did you know.

No I didn’t he said. I had no idea.

She lives in the smalånger elderlyhome. She’s almost a hundred.

Erik’s siblings are still alive as well he said. All bar one.

Oddly enough it had never occurred to me that they would still be in the locality. Apart from bror they were my closest relatives. Father had never spoken about them and as far as I could remember they never visited us. Possibly it was one of them who had cried at father’s funeral.

Thinking about it if mother’s family had been evangelical it might explain why my grandmother had thought her a suitable wife. From a pious perspective that is.

You stayed at kippofarm for a year or so. How come you ended up with the eskilbrännströms I asked. It was at the same time alarming and gripping to hear him unravel his life like this.

John had found a piece of wood to carve something from. Now and then he opened the stove door and put in another log. He watched his knife carve and the logs burn but avoided my gaze.