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Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

“What’s wrong? Had a bad day?”

For a second I thought maybe he cared. Then I noticed the big grin on his face.

“My day was horrible,” I snapped. “Thanks to you.”

“Me?” He batted his eyelashes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He opened the fridge, pulled out a carton of orange juice, and chugged down, like, half of it. Gross.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” I replied. “That’s some path you’ve blazed for me at HVMS.”

“That’s because I was the only interesting person who ever went there,” Rafe replied. He chugged more juice.

“Yeah, I met your buddy Miller’s little brother. I think we’ll be hanging out a lot.” My voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Did he bother you?” Rafe asked. He didn’t have a smirk on his face now.

“He’s nothing I can’t handle. Anyway, all my teachers are amazed that you’re still in school,” I told him, “instead of jail.”

Rafe shrugged. “I wouldn’t even call them teachers. More like wardens. Admit it—I was right and you were wrong.”

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I wasn’t about to agree with him. “One day doesn’t mean anything,” I told him, walking to the cupboard to take out a box of pasta. “It’s going to get better.”

“Wrong.”

I whirled to face him. “I’m not you, Rafe. I know how to make friends. I know how to get good grades. I guarantee that in four weeks, I’ll have straight A’s, and I’ll be one of the most popular girls at school.”

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The Princess Patrol will be begging me to hang out with them, I thought. My teachers will have forgotten Rafe ever existed.

“Wanna bet?” Rafe’s eyebrows shot up. “In four weeks, you’ll have zero friends, and you’ll be begging to get out of HVMS.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “Yeah. I do want to bet.” The wheels were already spinning in my mind.

My brother looked a little surprised. “What should we bet?”

“Loser does the winner’s chores for a month.”

Rafe looked around the kitchen at the unswept floor, the dishes piled in the sink, the crumbs on the counter. The rest of our house was more of the same: like the “before” picture on a home-makeover show. There were loads of chores to be done—and I would think up plenty more when I won.

Rafe grinned again. “Deal,” he said, and we shook on it. He seemed pretty confident.

I couldn’t wait to wipe the smile right off his face… and prove to everyone that the only problem I had at HVMS was having RAFE for a brother.

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Sweet Home Georgiabama

Grandma Dotty wandered into the kitchen, singing at the top of her lungs. She was wearing a tracksuit and a pair of rainbow-striped leg warmers. “I read these are making a comeback!” Grandma crowed.