Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

How very educational.

What could be worse than spending time with bacteria?

Having Missy Trillin watch me spend time with bacteria. She and her sidekicks sat huddled in one corner of the lunchroom, planning the school dance. They were listening to an eighth grader lay out the plans for decorations and refreshments. When I heard Missy say the older girl’s name, I stopped in my tracks.

When Rafe was at HVMS, he had an imaginary friend. Of course, I am talking about none other than Jeanne Galletta. Oh, she’s real, all right—and she was sitting with Missy at that very moment. But I don’t think she and Rafe were really friends. I know for sure that Rafe would’ve liked to be better friends with Jeanne. He was always saying that Jeanne was so sweet and kind and smart and hardworking and well dressed (like he would know). I figured I’d spot Jeanne on my very first day at HVMS, floating down from the ceiling with white robes fluttering around her, strumming a harp and showing off her glowing halo.

But it turns out that Jeanne must just be a regular eighth grader, because I never would’ve picked her out of a lineup.

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Jeanne just sat there, talking to the Princesses like they were normal people. Maybe they’re her friends, I thought as I cleaned a table in the far corner. Missy said something, and the others—even Jeanne—laughed. Are they giggling about me? I wondered. Even perfect Jeanne Galletta is picking on me now.

I went to find Mr. Adell. “I’m finished,” I told him, holding out the bucket.

“Did you clean that one?” he asked, pointing to the table where the Princesses sat. I could feel their glares from across the room.

My stomach did a flip, then tied itself into a knot. “No.”

He shrugged. “Then you’re not done.”

I gulped. This detention is cruel and unusual punishment, I thought as I dragged myself over to the Princesses.

“What do you want?” Missy demanded.

“I’m supposed to wipe down your table,” I said, holding up my bucket.

“Ew,” Missy said. “What’s that—your shampoo?” Brittany and Bethany howled as if that was the best joke in the history of humankind. Even Jeanne laughed.

She laughed! Where’s your angel now, Rafe? I thought. I should have known he had rotten taste in girls.

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“I like your green hair,” Jeanne said.

Missy smiled smugly. “Yeah, it’s very eco-friendly.”

“The alien look is totally in,” Brittany agreed.

“Beam me up, Georgia,” Bethany added. Missy gave her a high five.

Great. Now there were four princesses instead of three. Even more witty remarks to ruin my life! “Can I just clean this table?” I snapped.

“We’ll move,” Jeanne said, gathering her things. “Let’s sit over there,” she said, pointing to a table by the window. “The only thing left to plan is the Battle of the Bands.”