Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

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When I left the cafeteria, the noise suddenly died down (and I’m not just talking about Rhonda). The only students in the hall were three girls clustered around a locker, and they all looked like they’d been dressed by the same celebrity stylist. They eyed me for a minute, and then one put up her hand to shield a whisper. The others laughed.

I’d seen them before. All three are in my French class. Missy Trillin is clearly in charge of, like, the entire school. And everyone in it. In class earlier today, a nerdy boy with glasses had made the mistake of sitting in the seat she wanted.

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Missy’s family is incredibly rich. Her mother invented Mac N Cheesyohs—you know, macaroni-and-cheese on a stick that you heat up in the toaster—so they have gobs of money. Everyone wants to dress like Missy. Everyone wants to go to her parties. Everyone wants to ride in her solid-gold limousine.

The two celebutantes with Missy were named Brittany and Bethany, but I wasn’t sure which was which. Looking at them, I finally understood what Rafe had meant about my pony backpack. These girls had clothes that made my T-shirt and jeans look like sewn-together old dish towels. Their perfect skin made my face look like someone had attacked me with a permanent marker. Their white teeth could’ve blinded anyone within fifteen feet of them, and you could probably lose a pet Chihuahua somewhere in the middle of their thick, puffy hairstyles. (In fact, Missy actually did have a pet Chihuahua.) I felt like I’d just wandered into a shampoo commercial they were starring in.

Their eyes were on me as I walked along, looking for the girls’ room. It wasn’t where I expected it to be, but I kept hoping it would appear, like an oasis in the desert.

“Clip-clop,” Missy said, and the B’s cracked up.

I didn’t know what that meant, but it was clearly a joke, so I chuckled along.

“Um, hi,” I said with a smile. “Can you tell me where the girls’ room is?”

Missy gave me a pursed-lips smile that twisted up the side of her mouth. “Do I know you?” she asked. Her voice made it clear that she couldn’t possibly know me. She gave me an up-and-down look that made me want to go hide out in a locker for the rest of the year.

“I don’t think we know anyone who gets her clothes out of a Dumpster,” one of the B’s said.

“Or cuts her hair with a Weedwacker,” added the other.

Clearly, these girls were grade-A snobs. So I was all “I guess you guys blew off a couple of lessons at charm school, because that was seriously rude.” And then they burst into tears, and Missy tried to draw me a map to the girls’ room, but I just walked off.