Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

But middle school was totally different. The more I tried to blend in, the more I stood out. It’s like I was some kind of free entertainment that people couldn’t help but stare at. Free freak show! See the Limpy Chick in her natural habitat! Mock her hair! Judge her clothes! Remember her crazy brother?

So is it a surprise that I was locked in a bathroom stall, crying? (I’m telling you, middle school is all glamour.) I blew my nose on a strip of toilet paper and took a shaky breath.

I wondered if I could just stay in this stall forever. With wireless Internet access, I might never have to face the world again.

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I’m Being Followed

ARE YOU OKAY?”

Rhonda was standing in front of the row of sinks with a roll of toilet paper in her hand when I finally got the will to leave the bathroom stall. What a surprise.

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I heaved a sigh, which came out as a hiccup. I couldn’t decide whether I was happy to see her or annoyed that she’d followed me into the bathroom. Both, I guess.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I took the roll of toilet paper and tore off a half dozen squares. My nose was really runny.

I checked myself out in the mirror as I splashed water on my face and patted it dry with a scratchy brown paper towel. I looked pretty hideous. Green hair, red and splotchy face… I looked like something out of a Muppets movie.

Rhonda patted me on the back as I headed toward the door. I appreciated the silent support. Unfortunately, the silence ended the minute we stepped into the hallway.

“I REALLY LOVE YOUR HAIR! WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO DYE IT GREEN?”

I snorted. “It was my brother’s idea.” It was funny how people—except the Princesses—seemed to like the green hair. Maybe Rafe wasn’t so crazy after all.

“ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP IT GREEN?” Rhonda asked. “YOU REALLY SHOULD! IT’S AWESOME FOR A ROCK STAR! OR MAYBE YOU’LL TRY A FEW DIFFERENT COLORS? DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT GO FOR PURPLE?”

It was kind of amazing how quickly Rhonda could think of new questions. She didn’t even need answers.

“IT’S SO GREAT THAT YOU AREN’T AFRAID TO HAVE GREEN HAIR,” Rhonda gushed. “YOU AND I ARE A LOT ALIKE—WE’RE NOT AFRAID TO BE DIFFERENT, RIGHT, GEORGIA?”

Rhonda was talking at an even higher volume than usual, and a few people stared as we made our way down the hall. “I’m not trying to be different,” I snapped.

“YOU’RE JUST BEING YOURSELF!” Rhonda crowed. “WE ARE WHO WE ARE!”

“Rhonda! We’re not alike, okay?” I snarled in a tone I usually save for Rafe. “So can you please just stop following me around?”

Rhonda froze up. Her eyes filled with tears.