Mom was right—revenge tastes best when you add a little extra nutmeg.

A Visit with the Lizard King

I was only in homeroom for about five seconds when the school secretary appeared and handed a note to Mr. Grank. When he read it, his head snapped up. “Rafe’s SISTER,” he announced, “the Lizard King has called you to the Pit of Torment.”

“Hmm.” I kicked the giant pudding tub behind my desk. “Okay.” I followed the school secretary down the hall to the principal’s office.

A cricket chirped as I slid into the chair across from the Lizard King, Mr. Dwight. My flesh crawled as his long tongue shot out and his teeth crunched. The room went silent.

Poor cricket.

“I hear you’re following in your brother’s footsteps, Ms. Khatchadorian,” the Lizard King hissed. “Why don’t you tell me about this pudding incident?”

“Pudding?” I repeated, as if I had no idea what he was talking about. I was doing my very best whatever-are-you-talking-about-my-good-sir? face, with my hands clasped under my chin. It’s a proven innocence stance.

Heh-heh-heh. A chuckle from a giant lizard is a scary sound. The Lizard King stretched out a scaly hand and tapped his claws on the arm of his throne. “Come now, Ms. Khatchadorian,” he said. “Someone poured a pot of pudding on Missy Trillin, and you are the prime suspect.”

Please note: I didn’t even lie!

But there was something in the Lizard King’s golden gaze that told me he wasn’t buying it. I bit my lip and smiled nervously. I wished he would ask me a question or something, just so I wouldn’t have to sit there in silence until one of us died.

At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Before the Lizard King could even shout, “Come in,” my defense attorney strolled in. Well, I guess he was supposed to be my defense attorney.

It was Rafe.

This Deserves Two Chapters

You’re pinning this on the wrong girl,” my brother said. Rafe plopped a briefcase on the Lizard King’s desk, and a pile of papers spilled out. Rafe picked one up. “Exhibit A.”

“What’s this?” The Lizard King frowned at the paper.

“Her report card from last year.” Rafe held out another paper. “Here’s the one from the year before that. And the one from the year before. As you can see, the grades are straight A’s.”

The Lizard King eyed the papers and suddenly let out a stream of fire from his mouth that turned my report cards into ash. But Rafe just went on with his speech.

“Georgia also got 1s in effort, which—honestly—is a little obnoxious. I mean, who tries that hard in study hall?”