Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

“Do you want to dance?” Sam asked.

“Of course she doesn’t.” The voice came from behind Sam. “Do you think she wants to limp all over the floor?” Missy stood there in her sparkly princess dress, with her glossy hair and Ultrabrite teeth, sneering at me.

My stomach finally stumbled, then fell with a splat. I wanted to say something, but I was too stunned.

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“Missy, why don’t you go take a flying leap off a gondola?” Sam said, taking my hand. He led me toward the dance floor, but I hesitated at the edge.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked.

I bit my lip. “Sam—Missy is…”

“A moron?” Sam guessed.

“Well… but maybe she’s right.” I glanced down at my feet. My skin felt cold and clammy, as if my embarrassment had just lowered the temperature in the room. I felt a little sick and wondered if maybe I was coming down with something.

Sam touched my shoulder gently. “You don’t have to dance if you don’t want to, Georgia,” he said.

His eyes were so blue. They reminded me of these pretty glass mineral-water bottles that Grandma Dotty likes to buy at garage sales. I imagined light shining through his eyes, the way they shine through the bottles when Grandma puts them on the windowsill. Suddenly, the cold that had settled over me dropped away.

It felt good to know that Sam would understand if I didn’t want to embarrass myself out on the dance floor. But there was only one problem….

“I do want to dance,” I said. I really, really did.

I mean, this was my moment!

I was at my first middle-school dance!

A sweet, cute boy wanted to dance with me!

It’s not like this was happening every weekend.

Sam smiled. “Good. Because you already promised you would dance with me.”

We stepped out onto the floor just as the music stopped. A slow song started.

Sam put his arms at my waist, and I thought for sure that I might faint. Instead, I rested my head on his shoulder. Dancing wasn’t hard at all—I just shuffled back and forth. Maybe it was just the scent of Missy’s shampoo mixed with the disco ball lighting that affected my brain, but I felt like I was in a happy, beautiful dream.

I never wanted it to end.

But, of course, three minutes later it did.

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Band Gone Weird

Don’t make me go,” I begged Sam. I just wanted to stay on the dance floor, shuffling around with him forever.

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“I can’t wait for you guys to perform,” Sam said. “It’ll be great!”

“Great?” I repeated. “Yeah, great for Missy.”

“You aren’t worried about her, are you?” Sam asked. “What could she possibly do to you?”

Oh, probably nothing too serious. Force all the other kids to boo us? Bombard my head with tomatoes? Send Fabio to pee on my leg?