Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

“Who’s that?” Nanci asked as she snuck another cookie from the table.

“Nobody,” I told her. Please go away, I begged silently. But Missy didn’t move, except to pick up my old Christmas sweater between her thumb and index finger and grimace at the reindeer on it.

“She seems to think she’s somebody.” Mari frowned and folded her arms across her chest as she watched Missy pick over my family’s castoff items. I cringed. Missy was acting like she was searching through a Dumpster in a sketchy neighborhood. All of a sudden, my old, well-loved games, books, and clothes looked like embarrassing trash to me. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Missy left and came back wearing a diamond-covered hazmat suit to look through everything else.

Don’t look at her, I told myself. Fighting the blush I felt creeping up my neck, I turned to my friends. “Patti, Mari, and Nanci, this is Sam,” I said.

My bandmates said hi, and Sam said, “You guys were great.”

But Missy couldn’t just disappear, of course. She gasped. “Don’t tell me you’re selling this!” She mockingly held up an old, half-bald troll doll. “And only fifty cents?”

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I wondered if there was room for me to hide in the file cabinet, now that Wilson had moved on.

“Why is Missy even here?” Sam wanted to know.

“To torture me,” I explained.

Rhonda turned her back on Missy. “ANYONE WANT ORANGEADE?” My bandmates said yes.

“Rhonda’s got a lot of… energy,” Sam said as we watched her pass around the plate of cookies. She let Nanci take only two.

I wasn’t sure what Sam meant by that, so I just said, “She can’t help herself.” I glanced around the tables, where the items were thinning out. A lot of our stuff had already sold. Grandma Dotty was demonstrating how an exercise bike could also be used as a coatrack. Rafe was trying to convince an older couple that they needed an extra toilet.

“What’s up?” Sam asked as I bit my lip. “You look worried.”

“It’s just—well, I’m a little worried about… Mr. Bananas.” I could feel my face redden.

“Stuffed animal?” Sam guessed.

“Yeah. I just don’t want him to get sold.” I shrugged. “Life isn’t the same without a stuffed monkey on your bed, you know?”

Sam smiled. “Yeah.”

“Oh, that’s soooo sweet!” I heard a sugary voice behind me. “Little baby wants her toy monkey back!” Missy rolled her eyes.

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I felt my head turn hot down to the tips of my hair. I glanced at Sam. Does he think I’m an idiot? I wondered. It was hard to tell. He was too nice to say so.

Missy looked over at the snack table. “Hey, Georgia, why don’t you get your best friend, Rhonda, to help you look for your dolly?”

“She’s not my best friend,” I muttered. I knew it was awful. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Rhonda was still blissfully handing out orangeade to thirsty bargain hunters. If she’d heard me, she wasn’t showing it.