Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

But I had said it.

PS: I just can’t draw any of this. It’s too hideous.

Please, just look away, like everyone else did.

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Rhonda Runs

Rhonda stared at me with those huge, damp eyes, and I felt part of myself dissolve like Kool-Aid mix in water. I’ve always thought that I was a good person. At least, mostly good. But as Rhonda stood there looking at me, TRAITOR written across her face, I started to think I’d never been good at all.

Then she took off like a bullet.

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I was so surprised that she could move that fast that I didn’t even follow her.

Not right away.

By the time I managed to move, Rhonda had blasted through the hallway doors. Then the second bell rang, and I found myself alone in the hall. I was late for class.

I should find her later and apologize, I told myself. But I knew that wasn’t good enough. No—I had to find her and apologize now. Right away. Even if it meant skipping class and getting in trouble.

Because friendship is more important than French, oui?

The first place I looked was the girls’ room. No Rhonda. Just a very annoyed eighth grader who I, uh… accidentally barged in on.

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Next I tried the cafeteria, but there were just lunch ladies assembling huge trays of goop that looked like reheated goop from yesterday’s lunch. Blech.

The only other room in the direction Rhonda had run was the teachers’ lounge, and it didn’t seem very likely she’d go in there. I knew I didn’t want to, since it was a well-known fact that the lounge doubled as Mrs. Stricker’s harpy lair.

Rhonda was nowhere to be found.

Who could help me? If I called Mom, she’d just come to school and make a Parental Scene. My bandmates? They don’t really get Missy Trillin’s evil power, or why I don’t just throw down with the Princesses. Besides, they were in school too.

In the end, there was only one person I could think of to call.

I’ll always owe my brother, because that phone call cleared up everything.

The minute I hung up, I knew what I had to do.

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South Nowhere Street

My escape plan was simple yet flawless: I walked out the door. Nobody said anything or tried to stop me.

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My heart thrashed like a beached fish, but I didn’t look back. I wondered if this was how Rafe felt when he broke a rule at HVMS: excited and a little scared and kind of proud of himself all at the same time.

It hadn’t been hard to look up Rhonda’s address. Her street was only a few blocks from school. The houses were mostly small and close to the curb, without any front yards at all—just driveways and trash bins. Rhonda’s house was as dingy as the rest of them, except her front door looked brand-new, with an oval of stained glass in the center.