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Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

But Missy had heard every word. She smirked.

And suddenly I wished I could smack that smirk right off her face. Who the heck does Missy think she is, anyway? Rhonda’s worth ten of her. No, a hundred.

I was starting to accept that I was going to lose my bet with Rafe. I’d never be popular at HVMS, because I’d never be friends with Missy. And that was just fine with me.

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Going Bananas

History was made right here at Hills Village Middle School—right in front of my locker!

I got a Boy Gift. That’s right: A guy gave me a present.

First.

Time.

Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hands down, it was the best thing that had happened in the entire pitiful span of my middle school life. I’m bursting with enough happiness that I, Georgia Khatchadorian, could probably spontaneously turn into a cheerleader, right here and now.

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The day after the garage sale, I spotted Sam hovering near my homeroom. I waved, and he smiled and said, “I’ve got something for you.” Then he pulled the most awesome present ever out of his backpack.

“Mr. Bananas!” I cried. “You found him!”

Sam grinned and said, “I spotted him as I was leaving. Your grandmother charged me three bucks for him.”

“But the tag says a dollar fifty,” I noticed.

Sam shrugged. “She could tell I really wanted it, so she jacked up the price.”

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I hugged my stuffed monkey to my chest. With Mr. Bananas, my room would be mostly back to normal. I had all of the important stuff, anyway. I reached into my backpack. “Let me give you the three dollars.”

“Are you kidding? No way!” Sam’s eyebrows drew together. “I wanted to surprise you.” He looked down at the floor and said, “I hope you like it.”

The walls of my throat swelled—I was so touched, I was practically choking on my own spit. I couldn’t talk, so I just smiled and tried to look grateful.

“So… uh….” Sam shuffled his feet and rattled the change in his right-hand pocket.

I managed to find my voice and said, “What is it?” I was sure he was going to say I had something on my face or I smelled weird.

“Well… there’s this dance coming up….” Sam looked at me.

“Yes?” My voice was a whisper.

“Um, would you like to—you know—dance? At the dance? Together?”

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No, just kidding. Of course, I played it cool.

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“Okay, then,” Sam said with a smile after I agreed. “Awesome. Well, see you later.”

I stood there for a minute. Was that real? I wondered. Did that just happen? It seemed highly unlikely, but I was still holding Mr. Bananas. That was evidence. I didn’t even care that kids in the hallway were starting to stare at the girl clutching a stuffed monkey. Mr. Bananas could take them any day.