Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright
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“I knew you were in there,” I said.

“What?”

“Never mind.”

“So, isn’t your dance tonight? Why aren’t you getting dressed?” Rafe rolled over onto his side so he could look at me.

“I’m not in the mood,” I told him.

“You’re going to bail on the band?” Rafe sounded shocked.

I hadn’t thought of that at all. Rafe was right—I couldn’t just let down Mari, Nanci, and Patti. And Sam. I’d promised to dance with him. If I didn’t show, he’d have spent three dollars on Mr. Bananas for nothing.

I rolled over so that I was facing my brother. “You’re right,” I told him.

My brother grinned at me. “As usual,” he said.

“This is a deep moment, Rafe—don’t ruin it.”

“Sorry.”

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My First Middle-School Dance (Will I Ever Forget This Moment?) (I Have No Idea.) (Meh—I’ll Probably Forget It.)

I stood in front of the double doors, breathing deeply. I could hear music coming from the dance on the other side of the wall. You can do this, I told myself. Just walk in.

But I couldn’t make my feet move. Missy had gotten into my head, like a fly that just keeps buzzing around and around until it drives you crazy. I could already hear all the nasty things she would say: “Get out of here, LIMPY! Just DRAG yourself right back out the door. Your dress is totally LAME.”

There was only one thing to do.

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I pushed open the doors and gasped. The gym looked incredible. The dance committee had done something amazing with silver balloons and silver netting that hung down from the ceiling. And I have no idea how they got the place to stop stinking of sneaker fungus, but the entire gym smelled like Missy’s shampoo.

In one corner, there was a table loaded with cupcakes and cookies. And at the far end of the gym was a stage with a red curtain. Glittery silver letters spelled out BATTLE OF THE BANDS!

My stomach flipped like an Olympic gymnast. I couldn’t believe Missy had managed to pull off a theme like “Moonlight in Venice” in the gym.

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“Hey!” Sam tapped me on the shoulder. “You look great. I really like your dress.” He gave me a huge, dimply smile.

My flipping stomach returned. It was really going for a gold medal.

“Thanks!” I said. He was looking cute too, but I didn’t know how to say so without sounding dorky. So I ended up with, “I like your tie.”

“I knew you’d like it,” he said. It had monkeys on it.

I blushed. He picked out that tie for me! My stomach tried to kick its way past my rib cage. I wanted to think of something to say, but I guess my brain was on a break. So I stood there awkwardly for a moment, watching my classmates on the dance floor. The disco ball sent doughnuts of light spinning around the room. It was kind of like being in a snow globe.