Back My Brother Is a Big, Fat Liar Save as PDF
Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

“Nothing.”

“Hmm. Then why are you lying facedown on your bed?”

Sighing, I sat up. “It’s just—Rafe got his progress report today. He got one lousy A, and Mom is acting like he just got into college. He even got a C! Do you know what would happen if I got a C?”

Dotty clapped. “An A is marvelous!”

“But I get straight A’s all the time!” I wailed. “And Mom never made me a pie!”

Grandma Dotty looked thoughtful. “She never made me a pie for my report card either.”

What? Mom wasn’t even alive when Grandma got her report card. Well, maybe that’s Dotty’s point—that life isn’t fair.

“I want pie too,” I grumbled.

“Well, maybe Rafe will let you have some.” Dotty smiled and took my hand in her wrinkly old one. I knew she was trying to help, but she wasn’t really getting my point. “It’s good that your brother is doing well in art school,” Dotty went on. “He’s never been the greatest student, you know.”

“Tell me about it.” I rolled my eyes.

“He’s like your mother in that way. They’re both born artists. They aren’t much good at regular school. They’re a lot alike, in good ways and bad.” Grandma Dotty smiled, and her brown eyes twinkled.

“Am I like my mom?” I asked. “Like she used to be?” I was hoping Dotty would say that both Mom and I were smart. Or musical. Or kind, maybe.

Dotty shrugged. “How should I know?” she asked. “I don’t know what your mother was like when she was your age.”

What? She doesn’t know my mom?

I wanted to say it out loud, but I thought it might be kinda cruel. I mean, Dotty’s memory is kind of Swiss cheesy. There are holes. There’s nothing she can do about it. Why make her feel worse?

Let’s face it: That’s what makes Grandma Dotty a little… dotty. Or more like completely dotty. And we all love her anyway.

image

Completely Insane

I have to tell them, I thought as my fingers plucked the strings of my electric guitar. I have to tell them. I’ll tell them right after this song.

The song ended. I didn’t tell them.

Mari, Nanci, and Patti still had no idea that Rafe had signed us up for the Battle of the Bands yesterday. I wished I could put off telling them forever, but I knew I couldn’t. For one thing, Rhonda was watching our rehearsal, and she was dying to tell my friends about our upcoming “gig.”

More like a gag.

If I didn’t say anything, I knew Rhonda would. And that wouldn’t be pretty.

image

Okay, I couldn’t let that happen.

“I’m beat,” Mari announced when the next song ended.

“Yeah, I have to get home,” Patti added, wrapping a scarf around her neck. “Mom needs me to mow the lawn.”

“So, we’ll rehearse again next week?” Nanci asked. She shoved her drumsticks into her back pocket and dug her hand into a bag of chips. “Same time, same place?”