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Contents ( 134)
  1. Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar
  2. Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian
  3. Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother
  4. Miller the (Mini) Killer
  5. Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda
  6. The Awesomes!
  7. We Stink!
  8. Home, Sweet Home
  9. Sweet Home Georgiabama
  10. My Mom Is My Best Friend
  11. The Princess Dress Code
  12. Not My Problem
  13. This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…
  14. I’m In!
  15. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me
  16. Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…
  17. “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.
  18. A Day at the School Factory
  19. Every Band Needs a Groupie
  20. Squealing on Rafe Is Fun
  21. My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare
  22. It Ain’t Easy Being Green
  23. The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules
  24. I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair
  25. I’m Being Followed
  26. Stop, Book Thief!
  27. My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)
  28. The Truth About Jeanne Galletta
  29. General Rafe Torture
  30. Rafe’s Revenge
  31. Playing War
  32. Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me
  33. Completely Insane
  34. Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown
  35. “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale
  36. The Aftermath
  37. Going Bananas
  38. I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer
  39. The Princesses
  40. Georgia’s Last Stand
  41. Rhonda Runs
  42. South Nowhere Street
  43. Smacked Down
  44. When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves
  45. Revenge Served Lukewarm
  46. A Visit with the Lizard King
  47. This Deserves Two Chapters
  48. Crime and Punishment
  49. Shrinkology
  50. More Shrinkology
  51. Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess
  52. Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
  53. How I Became a Princess
  54. The Strange Truth
  55. Jules Explains It All
  56. I’m Not Going
  57. Band Gone Weird
  58. Princess Gone Wild
  59. My Mom Is… My Mom
  60. One Other Thing
  61. Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)
  62. Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes
  63. And… I Lost the Bet
  64. A SLAM-BAM ENDiNG(?) FOR OuR STORY
  65. WeLCOMe TO CAMP WANNAMORRA
  66. Contents
  67. Copyright

I skulked over to the counter and slipped onto one of the red stools, holding my copy of The Book Thief in front of my face. Please don’t notice me, I begged silently.

“Your mom’ll be right over, Georgia honey!” Pearl hooted. Pearl is the other waitress, and she always does everything at top volume.

Cringing, I glanced at Missy. She was looking right at me with narrowed eyes and a tight little smile. I turned my back on her as the pasta in my stomach threatened to revolt. Great. If Missy comes over, maybe I can barf on her.

“Hi, sweetie,” Mom said as she leaned across the counter and landed a kiss on my forehead.

I felt like I’d just reached a desert oasis. Mom will know how to handle Missy, I realized. “I need to ask you—”

“I want to hear all about it. I’ll be back in a sec.” She hauled a huge tray piled with dinner plates to a table by the window. It was seven o’clock, and the diner was packed.

The diner burned to the ground last year, but Swifty had rebuilt it with the help of a big insurance check, and it’s way nicer now than it ever was before. And more crowded.

Swifty shouted, “Order up!” and Mom hustled over to the grill to pick up the dinners. She held up her index finger, giving me the “One minute!” signal.

Argh—I didn’t have “one minute”! My problems had followed me all the way to my safe place and were threatening to attack.

I cast a nervous glance toward Missy’s corner. Her family was getting up to leave. Please, please, please just go, I thought.

I hid behind my book. The librarian had tried to tell me that it would be too hard for me. She must’ve had me confused with Rafe. (Note to reader: Rafe has never read The Book Thief or any other book except the CliffsNotes for the Captain Underpants series. Okay, I’m exaggerating. He also sometimes reads the menu at McDonald’s.)

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A moment later, Mom brought me a glass of chocolate milk. Chocolate removed.

“How was your first day of middle school?” she asked gently, crossing her arms on the counter. Finally—some time for just Mom and me.

“Oh, it was—” I looked toward the table in the corner. Missy was gone. Good, I thought. Now I can really tell Mom all about it. “It was okay, but—”

“Excuse me?” A bald man held up his coffee cup. “Refill?”

“Sure.” Mom scurried away to grab the carafe. The minute she refilled his cup, someone else was ready to order. Then another table’s food was ready, people were leaving, someone dropped a spoon…. Mom got caught in the chaos, and I couldn’t reach her.

I wished she could just take a night off and hang out watching movies on the couch with Rafe and me. But she works too much. Even when she’s around, it’s hard to get her attention—because Rafe hogs it all.