Nas is exactly who I want to be. He has accepted who he is. He has embraced it and now he’s free to be happy. He’s not afraid to tell people who he is because he isn’t fazed by their judgment, and that’s something I wish for. I don't know how he does it. How can you utter these words without fear that your friends will look at you sideways? What sort of mindset is this?

“And you trust him like that after you guys just met?” Juliana asks me, and I freeze.

I turn to look at Nas, who tilts his head as he watches me. We both know we haven't had enough time to build that kind of experience and trust together, but I know I want to explore, and I know I want to do it with him. How could I possibly get them to understand that he’s the one I’ve chosen, even if we don’t have a lifelong bond based on our experiences together. To me, it’s simple. I’m a kinky girl, and I want Nas to show me all about the kink and BDSM world while allowing me to give in to my darkness. I want him to teach me to not be afraid or ashamed of it. It’s more than just the books now. It’s his mind that fascinates me.

“Alina and I are still working through the process,” Nas answers for me, saving me from having to figure out how to put the right words together. “Yes, we just met, but we both know what we want, and it’s for us to figure out over time. I’m not in a rush. Are you, Alina?”

I smile from ear to ear as I slowly shake my head and look into Nas’s eyes. “No. Not at all.”

“Good,” Nas replies, returning the smile and putting everyone at the table into a trance. They all stop what they’re doing and stare at us.

“Oh, my fucking god,” DeShaun says.

“Let them have their moment, DeShaun,” Juliana chimes in. “It’s cute, so don't be a hater. They’re new and hot for each other.”

“I’m not hating on their hotness,” DeShaun rebuts. “I’m hating on the fact that Vance just walked through the door.”

“What?” I snap as I spin around to look at the entrance of the restaurant, and am nearly knocked out of my seat by the sight of Vance standing by the door, looking around, searching for someone.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Shay asks.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” DeShaun exclaims.

“Who’s he looking for?” Juliana says next, and when the answer hits me, my stomach drops.

“Us,” I reply, just as Vance spots our group, makes eye contact with me, and heads our direction.

Chapter Eighteen