“That is fucking disgusting!” Juliana barks. “I mean, that is absolutely despicable. What kind of worthless sonofabitch meets women at his book signings, makes them swoon, gives them great sex, just to use it all in his books? I’m so sorry, Alina. That’s insane.”

“I can’t believe it,” I say, just as new sobs take the place of the ones that just left. I fall forward into Juliana’s waiting arms once again, and she rubs my back.

“You didn’t deserve that,” she says calmly, but I can hear the pain in her voice. “Nobody deserves that treatment, but especially you. You were his biggest fan, and the fact that he would do that to you is deplorable.”

I cry another five minutes straight, letting out tears I didn’t even know I needed to let out. When I left Nas’s house, my anger carried me this far. It bolstered me, strengthening my spine as I drove home, but somewhere along the way I made a turn toward Juliana’s house and my anger faded, leaving only sadness in its wake. Now, that’s all I feel. Overwhelming, gut-wrenching sadness.

When I finally pull it together again, Juliana and I just sit for a while. There’s so much that could be said, but nothing that needs to be. We both understand what has happened, and I’m still stuck in shock that feels like quicksand around my feet. I don’t want to move. I just want to sit there and let it swallow me. Juliana’s hand lands on top of mine, grabbing my attention but doing nothing to pull me out of it.

“You okay?” she asks, and I shake my head. “Yeah, I know, sweetie. Well, like I told you before, I’ll always be here when you need me.”

Tears fill my eyes for the billionth time, and I try to hold them back. “I know. I’ve missed you. I’m sorry I was—”

“Sshh,” she says, cutting me off. “You don’t have to do that. You’re my best friend, and I don’t need an apology. You’re here now. We’re here, and that’s all that matters.”

“I love you,” I mumble through brand new tears.

“I love you,” Juliana answers, followed by another hug.

I throw my arms around my friend and bask in her embrace. It feels so good to have her back in my life the way she was always meant to be, and it’s moments like these that remind me that there isn’t a man in the world that can take the place of a woman’s true best friend. First it was Vance, and now Nas, but Juliana has always been here, and she’ll always be here. Everything has collapsed, and I couldn’t be more grateful that she’s here to catch me as I fall.

~ The Luckiest Girl In The World ~

Chapter Thirty-Seven