“Well, he wasn’t. Do you guys even know what kind of books I read?”

“Oh, god. Here we go,” Juliana groans, rolling her eyes as she lifts her wine glass and sips some more Rosé.

“Shut up, Juliana,” I protest, before addressing the rest of the group. “Y’all know I love Nathan Booker novels, and I love them for a reason. So, yeah, I need a little … more. So what?”

“Girl, Nathan Booker writes some freaky shit,” Shay agrees. “I read one of his books a couple of years ago, and that shit had me feeling naughty. Joe was a happy husband during that read. Every time I finished a chapter, all I could think about was jumping on Joe and reenacting what I had just read. That man is one helluva writer.”

“You’re damn right, he is,” I shout, slurring a few of the words. “That’s why he’s my favorite author ever, and the man that will become my husband. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Wait. But let’s go back to the kinky shit,” DeShaun cuts in. “What kind of kinky stuff are we talking about here? You like whips and chains, girl?”

I get butterflies in my stomach just from the thought of whips and chains, and my darkness stirs.

What would cold chains feel like on my skin? Could my flesh withstand the sting of a whip? God, I’m dying to know the thrill of it all.

“Alina? You good?” DeShaun asks, cutting off my train of thought. I didn't realize I was staring off into space.

“I’m fine, and maybe I do like whips and chains,” I reply, and everyone gasps before laughing again. “I’ve never done any of the stuff Nathan Booker writes about, but … when I read his scenes, it just makes me feel like I wasn’t meant to just lay on my back and take it, or climb on top so I can come. When I read about girls being tied up and whipped, I fucking like it. Y’all don’t want a guy to tie you up and put a vibrator on your clit while you struggle and squirm?”

“Well, I don’t have a clit, but hell yeah! Tie me up, Daddy!” DeShaun bellows, and the group erupts with laughter.

“That’s what I’m saying,” I continue, fueled by the vodka and that last shot. I know I can’t allow myself to give everything I desire, but maybe if I give a little, it’ll be okay. “I wanna try new stuff. I asked him to slap me and he lost his mind. Well, I wanna be slapped. I want to be choked while he forces me to play with myself. Is that too much to fucking ask? Nathan Booker gets it. How come no one else can? Good grief!”