She doesn’t start by saying, “I told you so.” She doesn’t begin by asking what Nas did. She simply places a hand on my knee and asks what happened. It’s a small thing, but it speaks volumes to me. After how much we’ve been apart lately, and how much of an ass I’ve been, Juliana has every reason to be gloating right now, but she’s not, and I love her for it.

“I should’ve believed you,” I start, and just speaking brings the tears back to life like little wet zombies. They are reborn in my eyes and glide their way down my cheeks. “I should’ve fucking listened to you, and I’m so sorry I didn’t.”

I begin bawling all over again and Juliana pulls me into a hug. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I told you we understood that you were in that awesome phase of the relationship where everything is orgasms and rainbows. We understood, and we never stopped having your back. Don’t apologize for anything.”

I sob into Juliana’s shoulder, embarrassingly soaking her shirt before I pull away, sniffling. “I missed you guys so much, but I was too busy falling for an asshole who was only using me to write his next fucking book.”

Juliana’s eye’s bulge as she slams her hand over her mouth. “What? That motherfucker.”

“He used me,” I go on, my breath shuddering through the tears. “Every time we had sex, he used it in his manuscript. He even used my real name. Fucking asshole.”

“Oh, my god. I will fucking kill him,” Juliana snaps. Her hands turn to fists and she looks ready to get up and chase Nas down. “After making you sign a fucking NDA, he uses your name in a manuscript? He’s a lowdown dirty piece of shit. How’d you find out?’

“I saw the manuscript on his computer,” I reply. “But that was only because the girl he wrote the last book about approached me while we were at dinner.”

Somehow, Juliana’s eyes grow even larger. “Excuse me … what?”

I blow out a long stream of air, trying to compose myself so I can tell her. “Yes. We were at dinner, and he got a phone call from his PA, and left the table to take it. While he was gone, a random woman sat down at the table, and told me she had been through everything I’m going through, and that Nas isn’t who I think he is. She told me to look at his laptop, and that when I saw it I would know. So, I snuck into his office and went onto his laptop. Sure enough, he had a manuscript titled, A Lesson in Ruin, where a character with my name is sexed crazy, and backs away from her friends to be with her Dom.”