He turned to me and pinned me to the spot by the force of his stare. “You will never speak of what you did to me in that room. You will never tell a soul of how you were my undoing, do you understand?”

“Yes, Father.”

“No one can know. When they ask you, you will refuse to answer because in boasting of your sin, you will taint that child with it.” He nodded at my belly. “Is that what you want? To ruin your child’s soul before it’s even born?”

“No, Father. No, please, I—”

“If you keep our secret, I will save your child. Do you understand, Delilah? Do you agree?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Promise to leave straight after his birth, never to return and never to speak of this, and I promise to always take care of him. Vow it now.”

I hesitated for a moment, trying to think through the implications of what he’d said, and then his hands were upon my shoulders, shaking me. “Vow it in God’s name!”

And I did.

By then, my sobbing had attracted the attention of the Reverend Mother, who knocked on the door and flew in before she’d been beckoned inside. “My goodness. What is going on in here? Sister Mary Teresa, what—”

That’s when Father Thomas told her of my condition and everything was cast into turmoil. No matter how many times they asked me who the father was, I refused to answer. And with each refusal, Father Thomas grew stronger and more outspoken in defense of my child even as he condemned me.

As I spoke, Ruth listened without once interrupting me or saying a word, lighting cigarette after cigarette with trembling fingers. When I was finally done, she spoke through clenched teeth. “I’ll kill the fucking bastard. Where is he? Tell me he’s still alive so I can find him and beat the living shit out of him.”

“But don’t you see? You were right all that time. I was madly in love with him and I was attracted to him. When he was kissing me, I responded to him. I let him kiss me because it felt good.” It cost me everything to admit to that and yet I had to own up to my part in what happened.

“What the hell has that got to do with anything? You said no when he took it further. You asked him to stop.”

“But I’d already seduced him by then, by sending him all those signals that I—”

“What signals? Making sure your whole body was covered by your bathrobe? Not licking his finger? Telling him you didn’t want a massage and that you didn’t want to take your robe off? Is that your idea of seduction?”

“No, of course not, but . . .” I trailed off. “But he said I’d tempted him—”